FOCUSING THE VIEW
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:21

Have you ever looked through a telescope before? My son got one for Christmas this past week and that night we were both anxious for the sun to go down so we could see the moon and stars. We had been practicing during the day, looking at trees far off, birds that managed to stop long enough for us to find, and whatever else looked distant. But as the sun finally set, we were getting a little discouraged. It was looking to be a cloudy night. We waited, and waited, and attempted, but still the sky was filled with clouds. After some time, though, we finally got our chance. The clouds were moving out and we saw our payday...the moon.
At first it looked like a big blurry blob, no different than someone shining a flashlght in your eye. But as we had learned during the day, we had to focus. We had to twist the knobs and line up the view to rid the blur. When we finally had it set, though, we were able to see the details clearly. It was a moment I will not forget, sharing time with my son and seeing the etched craters and shadows cast on the moon itself.
I have been praying the past week for what God is telling me concerning 2010, and the word I hear for myself is FOCUS. As I prayed and considered this word, I was reminded of my son's telescope. We used it to view things far off, bringing them close so we could focus on their detail. But as I stayed with God on this thought He began to show me that it is time I go deeper with Him, and focus on His detail. Over the past two years since my divorce began its process, I have been learning to cope again a single, and have tried to start up a relationship or two. However, as this year has begun to wind down, I have felt more and more that God wanted me to Himself. How can I focus on the moon if the knobs are not adjusted right? But then how can I focus on God if I am not adjusted to His settings.
In Matthew 6:21, Jesus tells us that our treasure is where our heart is. For so long I have been lonely and wanting, and honestly my heart has not been focused. My treasure has pivoted between a relationship with a lady and a relationship with God. When I am alone, I want company. When I have company, I forget about God. I hate that this has been true, but it is. So hearing the word FOCUS is right on target for me. It is time I focus on God and go deeper with Him. It is time I adjust my knobs in my relationship with God and see the awe and wonder in His detail. I know from experience that I will not be let down when I look at His awesomeness.
I cannot say that the word FOCUS is the word for you as well, but I can tell you that you will not be disappointed if you resolve to focus on God. Steven Curtis Chapman sings one of my all time favorite songs, Magnificent Obsession. I have always loved the tune. But as I was thinking about the song today, and reflecting on the words, it became more of my prayer than just a song. So I close this blog and this year with this, my prayer and perhaps yours.
This is everything I want
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession

BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT...
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

This past weekend for me was one of remembrance. The headlines spoke of the passing of Oral Roberts. Although I never met him or personally shook his hand, he made an impact on my life. For me, the greatest memories of my time at Oral Roberts University were the quiet times when I would lay on the cement sidewalk and look up at the Praying Hands. I know it sounds weird, but every time I was there, God spoke to me. Every verse God quickened to my memory while there was concerning faith. I would look at those hands and hear God speak, "This is what I can do through a man who has faith."
I can only be honest and tell you that I waver in my faith at times. In my spirit I know God can do anything, but when I am face to face with my giants I tend to forget. I wonder how I would react if I were a Bible character. Would I have the faith of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to stand up to the king? When the sound was heard and the command to bow was given, would I be one who kept standing? And then faced with the furnace, would I have the belief that God would deliver me? I would like to think so. These three had no fear. They flat out told the king, "God will save us! But if for some reason He doesn't, we still won't bow." Can I make the same confession, or will I shrink back?
God is looking for people of faith. The Bible shows us what God can do when people of faith are found. Nations are built, giants fall down, fire is defied, lions become full, walls are rebuilt, people are healed, and true salvation is found.
I may not have the same challenge in my life as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, but I do have my own gods that the world wants me to bow down to. The question is, will I? When the opportunity to cheat is present, will I cheat? When an offer is given by a woman for a night of 'fun', will I take it? If a lie will keep me out of trouble, will I tell it? Will I bow down to the gods that the world pushes in front of me, or will I, like these three, say, "I will obey God at all costs because He will save me. And if He doesn't, I will still do what is right."
God used Oral Roberts because he, like Noah, Abraham, Nehemiah, Daniel, and a host of others, feared God and obeyed. Was it hard? Probably. Was it worth it? You bet! God changes the world with those who have have the faith to obey Him. That's the person I want to be.

A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE!
"How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, 'Violence!' but you do not save?"
Habakkuk 1:2

I've had a few days of vacation lately, and spent some great mornings with God. I would like to share with you one of the revelations God opened my eyes to this past week. As I have been reviewing this past year myself, I have been thinking about all the times I have cried out to God and wondered when He was going to answer. So when I read the book of Habakkuk and saw him asking the same question, I couldn't help but laugh a little. God answered Habakkuk, but maybe not the way he expected.

Here is a brief summary of Habakkuk:
Habakkuk had seen an amount of violence and a lack of justice, so he cried out to the LORD. Basically, Habakkuk said, "God, don't you see what's happening? Why don't you do something?" God's response to Habakkuk was that he was ready to bring the Babylonians to conquer the known world, including swallowing up Judah. To say the least, Habakkuk is dumbfounded. God then makes it clear that He also plans to destroy Babylon for its violence and bloodshed, years later. Once Habakkuk understands God's full response, he writes a psalm about the LORD's terrible wrath. In that psalm, the prophet pledges to wait patiently for God's appointed time of salvation.

1:1-4 Habakkuk cries out for help. "...the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails...justice is perverted."
1:5-11 God responds, "Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Then He shares that He is raising Babylonia, the ruthless, self-seeking, proud bunch. They are strong, sleek, stealth and ready to destroy.
1:12-2:1 God, you're doing WHAT? You hate violence. Why do you allow this? I will stand here and wait for the answer.
2:2-5 "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end, and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." They will never be satisfied; they will always want more.
2:6-20 The LORD explains that the enemy will be opposed. They built the city on unjust gain and bloodshed. Finally, "You will be filled with shame instead of glory. Now it is your turn! Drink and be exposed! The cup from the LORD's right hand is coming around to you, and disgrace will cover your glory." Your idols are no match for God.
3:1-19 God's power is remembered, but also His ability to deliver. "You came out to deliver your people, to save your anointed one. You crushed the leader of the land of wickedness, you stripped him from head to foot." God used the enemy's weapons against themselves. Though the crops have died out this season, I will rejoice in the LORD. Because of Him, I am able to go higher.

I am not sure about you, but how many times in my own prayer life do I hear God say He has something bigger for me than what I can fathom right now? I tell God my list of pains and happenings and question, "Don't you see what I am dealing with? When are all these problems going to disappear?" But I am reminded of something God spoke to me after my divorce - your pain will be your platform. How? Because in God's time He WILL DO things I cannot fathom. The enemy will be defeated and God's power will be seen. The enemy will be opposed and will be filled with shame. God's cup is coming around, and disgrace will be poured out on the enemy.
God is at work in you, just as he is in me. It may look like injustice is winning, but what is God doing that we cannot imagine? What looks like bad circumstance now will be blessing soon. The enemy will be defeated. Until then, just as after then, we will praise Him.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19

The year 2009 is coming to an end. Not only a year, but a decade. When I think back over the last ten years, I see many blessings. I remember the days when my children entered the world. I remember my first day at my current job. I remember my wife and I buying our first house. But not all the memories of these past ten years have been grand. I also remember the miscarriage, the divorce, and learning that my dad has ALS. These moments define our past, but they also define our future.
Let me give you an example of what I mean. After the world was first created and God was pleased, He created Adam and Eve. Their job was simple - take care of the land. We do not know how long after Adam and Eve were created till the time the serpent came which caused the fall, but we know that they both shared in the fruit and as a result, were banished from the Garden of Eden.
God could have stopped here, admitted defeat, and gave up. But He didn't. Humanity continued. Years went by and in time Noah was born and eventually grew up. Because he feared God, God used him in the next part of the plan. Noah built the ark and his family and he were saved. Although God wiped out all but these eight people, he still did not lose, and did not admit defeat. The actions of Noah were built on the actions of Adam and Eve.
And so the story continues. God could have wiped out all the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah, yet He spared Lot. God could have allowed the Philistine army to defeat the Israelites, yet he raised a man with a heart after His to defeat Goliath. God could have let the world go to hell for our sins and actions, yet He sent His Son to die for us. God could have left us in our sin, but instead He called us friends and showed His love (Jn 15:13). God never stopped, never admitted defeat, and never gave up.
I must admit that favorite Disney movie is Meet the Robinsons. This movie is a great example of what I am trying to say today. The young boy, so wanting to know his past, is taken into the future. In the future he finds that what he has always wanted, a family, he will soon have. But he also learns that his failures in science only make him better, as he learns to never give up. The theme of the movie is Keep Moving Forward, a slogan coined by Walt Disney himself.
Is it not true for us as well? In this passage from Isaiah, we are encouraged to not dwell on the past. Sure, we must learn from the past. We must take the lessons, both good and bad, and filter them to continue to make right choices in the future, but we must not dwell on them. We must move forward. God is doing a new thing. You and I do not know what all God plans to do for us in 2010, but can you not see that God is at work. By faith, God is at work, and we know from Jeremiah 29:11, that it is for our good. Things may look great for you now, but maybe for you they are not. Either way, God is making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
I encourage you with the few days left in this decade to recall the blessings that God has poured out on you. Thank him for these. But also remember the bummer moments, when the car broke down and you had no cash, when a family member died, or when you had to make an emergency trip to the ER. God was in all those times too, not testing you, but preparing the next step in the stairway you will you travel. He is doing a new thing right now...can you not see it?

LEARNING TO TRUST
Be patient for the LORD and keep His way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.
Psalm 37:34

Growing up I was not allowed to listen to music that wasn't Christian. Now of course I had a few tapes that mom didn't know about, but for the most part I obeyed the rules. So I grew up with my favorites, like Crumbacher, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kim Boyce, and David Meece. The thing I loved about David Meece's music, however, was that he took classic Bach and Chopin and mixed it with his own style and lyrics. He had his share of ballads too, and in these I found a source of strength and encouragment. One such song was Learning to Trust.
The chorus of this song reads:
-(That's why I'm) Learning to trust in you
-In everything I do
-Learning to trust in you
-Cause I know in my heart that your true
-I'm learning to trust in you
-But sometimes it's so hard to do
Why is it so hard to trust God? Look at the Fathers of the Faith. Abraham believed God would give him a nation and yet didn't have a child till he was 86 years old. And even then, this was not the chosen child. Isaac wasn't even born for another 14 years. Abraham had faith that God would keep His word. He learned to trust in God.
What about Joseph and his dreams? God gave him dreams when he was still young and yet family didn't even believe him. When he shared his dreams of grain bowing down, they called him crazy. Yet Joseph knew these dreams were from God. Thrown in prison for a crime he did not commit, he did not lose faith. He learned to trust in God. When the time was right, God elevated him from a prison to a place of authority.
Moses also learned to trust in God. In Exodus 3:10 God tells Moses that he has been chosen to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt and bring them to the land of milk and honey. Sure, Moses made the excuses but still went on this wild ride with God and had to trust in Him at every step. The promise was real, and the Promised Land was reached.
I was inspired this week by the word WAIT. I have looking up verses in the Bible that speak about waiting and patience, and found Psalm 37:34. Be patient for the Lord and keep his way. With Abraham, we see that Ishmael was born first, but was not God's decision. Abraham took matters into his own hands instead of waiting on God. I have made the mistake myself many times rushing into something that is not God's number one decision. Thank God for grace and forgiveness, but if I had been patient and trusted God, the mistake would not have been made.
He will exalt you to inherit the land. God has a reward for us, but cannot give it to us until the time is right, so we must be patient and obey. Joseph saw this firsthand. He didn't try to break out of jail, or try to squeeze into leadership. God promoted within the jail, and later outside of jail. God allowed Joseph to inherit the land.
When the wicked are cut off, you will see it. Can you imagine what Moses saw when he looked back and watched the Red Sea wash away the Egyptians chasing him? He trusted God and extended his staff over the water, and God came through. And it is no different for us. We too will see God's deliverance.
But the whole verse, the whole story, the whole lesson starts with a single word...WAIT. It is so hard to do, but the benefit is so rewarding. It is just like in pregnancy. A couple waits nine months for their child to be born, but the reward of that child is great. So it with us. God has a reward for us, and we want it so badly, but is the time right? Are we being asked to wait? And if we are, are we kicking and screaming about the wait, or are we trusting that the wait will be worth it all in the end? Only you can answer that. As for me, I have decided that I will learn to trust.

JUST SAY NO!
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
James 4:7

I can still remember all the mottoes and slogans that would fill the airwaves back in the 1980's. Yes, I am aware I am dating myself, but go back in time with me. It was around this time that S.A.D.D. and M.A.D.D. grew in popularity. The 'beef' was questioned. Pepsi was the choice of a new generation. And "Just say No" was the catch phrase used against violence, premarital sex, drugs, and other vices.
The phrase all started in 1982 when, then first lady, Nancy Reagan was asked by a schoolgirl what she should do when she was offered drugs. Reagan's response was, "Just say no." From there, a campaign was built, and a phrase that is still stuck in my head. In a way, though, this slogan was encouraged to us long before Nancy Reagan and her 'Just say No" campaigns.
In James 4:7 we are told to submit ourselves to God and just say no to the devil. It isn't always easy, though. Sin can be loads of fun. Hebrews 11:25 tells us that Moses chose to be mistreated with the slaves rather than continuing to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. We can all look at the things we have done and agree that many were probably fun. I had fun when I was in my years of pornography. I had fun getting away with telling lies. I had fun spending the money. But that fun was only temporary. When the 'moment' ended, I was faced with guilt, shame, and trying to figure out how I was going to pay a bill that I had just used my budgeted portion on.
In college, I remember our campus pastor, Bill Shuler, saying many times that we need to live "hindsight in a foresight position." What does that mean? It means we need to think of the end result before we engage. When I was in high school I dated a girl my senior year simply because I had heard she was semi-easy. Even though I wanted to have sexual relations with her, I didn't. Why? Because the whole time I kept thinking what would happen if she got pregnant? This was one of the few times I actually used the idea of the end to prevent the beginning. I wish I could say it has always been like that. But sin so easily tangles us. It is the carrot dangling in front of the rabbit.
Resist the devil and he will flee. How do we resist these temptations that seem so attractive, yet only end up as pythons straggling breath from us? The answer is submission to God. The Greek word for submit here is HUPOTASSO, which means to obey; to be a subject to God. Are we obeying God? James 4:8 fits behind this verse well when it says to draw near to God and He will draw near to us. When we are growing closer to God, we are more apt to obey Him from the start. Submission this way is easy. The closer I get to God, the more I want to be with God. His blessings far outweigh the temptations thrown at us. When I married, I was able to give myself to my wife as a virgin. The blessing and joy of that action even now, after 11 years and our divorce, is one of the highlights of my marriage. On my wedding night I felt no shame because she was my first.
I know that this entry has been focused mostly on sexual desires, but I can only write about the ways that I have been tempted. For you, temptation may be drugs, alcohol, gambling, telling lies. The list is endless, and the devil knows just what carrot to dangle over each of us. But the answer is still the same. RESIST THE DEVIL. Let's make it our goal to not give one more inch in our lives. Let's all begin to consider the end before we begin on a journey we may only regret later on.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Say_No

CHALLENGING HUSBANDS EVERY WHERE
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Ephesians 5:25

I wrote a letter to a friend today, which isn't a strange thing, but it was one that I wish would have been written to me years ago. See, more and more these days I hear about couples having marriage problems and being caught at that pivotal point where they weigh staying verses divorcing. I have learned not to judge, especially since I also had that decision to make. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16), but what if we looked our marriage with new eyes. Let me explain what I mean by sharing some of the lessons I've learned in the past two years.
I married in August of 1998 to a lady I met 2 years before while I was in college. She was part of a missionary group passing through town. We were fond of each other and after hitting it off well, I asked for her address. For the next 22 months we wrote back and forth and got to know each other more in our letters. On Thanksgiving of 1997 I took the Greyhound from Oklahoma to Montana to see her, and in our second face to face conversation, I proposed to her. She accepted, but the me I appeared to be in my letters was not the me I was in person.
After graduating in May 1998, I moved to Montana to enjoy the last 3 months of our engagement and being able to see her on a daily basis. It was then that she began to see me for who I truely was. In my letters I described myself as a Man of God, a wise person, a guy who could play the guitar well, sing better, and wanted to share God with all nations. The truth of who I was, though, was a guy addicted to porn, not fully devoted to her, no money, no real dreams, too much debt from student loans, and far from God. That is the man she married. I learned how to lie well, act well, and say the right things. But when I was alone I was a wreck and looking for my next fix. This constant Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine caught up with me and was the reason for many fights during those summer months. At one point she had considered not getting married to me because in her heart she felt it was not right. Pushed by me and my promise to change, as well as other friends I had convinced, we did marry.
As you can imagine, since our marriage was set on the right foundation, the marriage soon sank. On Aug 29, 2000 I was called into my boss' office and was fired because of viewing porn on the boss' computer. I went home that day to my wife and told a lie about false accusations, but the truth is I knew I had been caught. Two days later she moved out. I lost it all, my wife, job, miscarried child, friends. I lived on ramen noodles and beans since I had little money. I went looking for jobs daily, any type job. When I wasn't working I was fighting between trying to be right and better myself, and indulging my lust. I went to counseling, met with friends, and did anything I could to take the pain away. Finally I decided I needed real help and enrolled myself into Pure Life Ministries in Kentucky, where they counsel sexual addictions. I began to see my problems and their affect. I saw how my choices affected my wife, how they made her feel demeaned and worthless. I saw that my pain was the issue, and my drug of choice was porn. Although I was becoming a different man and finally growing up, I think the change was made too late. Years later the marriage would end in divorce.
Rejection, anger, frustration, loss, guilt, condemnation, loss of appetite, suicide...these are just a few of the feelings I had. No pain was worse than knowing that I had become a negative statistic. I had been slapped in the face by my own actions and the affect that they would have. And now, now that the paper work is done and I have been able to adjust to the divorced dad statistic, now I finally realize the pain of what I did years ago. I didn't think I was hurting anyone, but I hurt everyone with my porn. I hurt my wife...she never trusted me again. I hurt my children...because I broke up the family and stripped them of security. I hurt myself...I still deal with the waves of pain that come. But I also hurt God...who gave me all the blessings I had in life. My wounds were not from physical punches, but from choices. They hurt just the same. Damage to the body can heal, but damage to the heart takes longer, and in many cases does not heal. Unfortunately it turns to bitterness.
But here is the hope, the Great Romance. Because God loved us, and we had chosen to walk away, He sent His Son. He showed us the ultimate picture of love by making a sacrifice of His Son for us. You see Ephesians 5 talks about just this. The church is God's bride. God did all He could to show us His love. It is up to us to respond. For me, I have seen His love and want to love Him back. God is a gentleman and will not force us to love Him. It is a choice, and I have chosen to love Him. But is it not the same in marriage? Sure it is. I cannot make anyone love me, just as you cannot make your spouse love you. It must be something they choose. But our actions, words, thoughts, behaviors affect their decision. If our wives sees us husbands in love with Jesus, not a trick but really in love, then our wives see our heart. And when you are in love with Jesus, you begin to take on His character. Soon what the wife sees in the husband is really God in him coming outward. She then in turn will have no problem loving you, trusting you, wanting to be with you. But it all starts with the man.
Does God treat you, husband, the way you treat her? For me, the answer was no. God did not treat me with anger, judgment, or condescending words, yet I treated my wife this way. I wondered why she didn't love me early in our marriage, but it was because I was not reflecting Jesus. The wife's love for for husband will not exist until we as men reflect God. I learned this too late, and my wife's heart was already too wounded and bitterness had settled in. But you, husband, still have a chance. Divorce is not official with your marriage; it is just a word that you threaten each other with. But while there is still hope, while you still have the chance...Love God, reflect God, let her see God in you. God hates divorce. Take it from one who knows.

YOU'RE IN GOOD HANDS
"And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

I love to write. My computer is filled with files and files of poems, songs, short stories, book ideas, Bible study notes, and quotes that have helped me over the past two years. But not all my writings are in this computer. I also keep a journal. And today when I was trying to find something in my past writings, I found my entry for January 10, 2008. I had heard someone speak on Gen 24:12. "Then [the servant] prayed, 'O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.'"
Here is what was happening in the story. Abraham was growing old and requested of his servant that he go and find a wife for Issac. The servant agreed and made an oath with Abraham that either he would bring a wife back, or would be released of his oath if the woman did not wish to come back. While standing beside the spring where the woman came to draw water, he prayed this prayer, asking God for success in his mission. I like this next part, "Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar..." (Gen 24:15). All the servant had prayed, about knowing she was the one because she would give him a drink and offer to his animals, she indeed did. Unknowingly, she was the answer to the prayer.
When I first journaled about this back in 2008, God opened my eyes to just all this provision included. Abraham's request of the servant was that she would agree to come back with him. The servant had to find a woman, receive both her and her parent's permission for marriage, have her agree to leave her family, have her family agree to let her go, and then do all this on a blind date. Unlike today when we can atleast see a picture when online dating, the servant had no picture to show Rebekah. But still, God provided and Rebekah and her family agreed.
So what is the message that is on my heart today. It is simple...God will supply. I am not announcing a marriage, but rather I want to boast in the Lord. If you have read my recent entries, then you know I have been in the hospital. Bills add up when the doctor is checking you out. But back in August of this year, I really felt that I was supposed to start a savings. I thought it might be for a house, but God had something else in mind. You see, He knew before I did that I would need some medical attention. He began providing for me the overtime hours at work. And when the bills started coming in, although higher than I wanted to pay, I found that I was able to pay. My God supplied my needs.
I can look back and see the many times that God has supplied for me. When my marriage went bad and I was asked to move out, God supplied furniture for me. When my car gave up, God supplied a car for me. When I was lonely, God supplied a friend for me. When I needed a little extra cash, God supplied overtime for me. I feel bad, because sometimes I take God for granted. But then I see stories like this and am reminded that because He loves me, He takes care of all my needs.
When I read the Bible, I like to know what certain words mean. So from the Strong's, here are a few words.
MEET: level up, finish, furnish, complete
NEEDS: employment, demands, requirements
RICHES: wealth, abundance
Now let's look at this verse again:
And my God will COMPLETELY FURNISH all your DEMANDS according to His glorious WEALTHY ABUNDANCE in Christ Jesus.
God loves us enough to care for us. We won't always get what we want, but He will be sure to give us what we need. There is hope in this. I did not want kidney stones, but God provided for me the funds needed to pay the bills. And this applies to all of life. I have learned to throw away my list of what I want in a future spouse and begin to ask God to supply what I need in a spouse. After reading Genesis 24, I know God will supply.

BUT IF FROM THERE...
"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul."
Deuteronomy 4:29

I first found this verse when I was going through counseling for my pornography addiction. In the scriptures surrounding this verse, Moses is speaking concerning idolatry (Deut 4:15-31). Moses told the Israelites that later in life, when they were established and living in the Promised Land, that if they became corrupt and made idols that angered God, there was still an answer. The answer was if from there.
It is safe to say in my life that I made an idol out of women and sex. So when I read this verse for the first time years ago, I was instantly convicted. Here I was, a Christian by title, but not by lifestyle. I was just like the Israelites, living in the Promised Land but not serving the God who brought me there. With everyday that passed I dove deeper and deeper into my sin, and swore my allegiance daily to my idol.
"But if from there..." A great hope is in these words. God knows we are going to sin. It breaks His heart when we do, but He knows we are not perfect. Isn't that why He died for us? Because of His love He could not stand to see us going astray without hope. "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us..." I John 3:16. The words that Moses shared with all of the Israelites that day is still the same today. We are all sinners, BUT IF FROM THERE. We all have made something an idol in our life, BUT IF FROM THERE. We all have disobeyed, BUT IF FROM THERE. These words hold promise that we have been given a second chance.
For me, my BUT IF FROM THERE moment came when in reading these words. I was able to see my idol for what is was. My heart was broken and confession was made. The verse, however, continues with what we must do. "...you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul." I had to turn away from my idol and seek God; seek His ways with my heart and soul. I had to call to Him for His strength because daily that idol called back to me, inviting me to come back. I can honestly say it was not an easy fight. Some days were a step forward, and some days were a step back. Being involved in idol worship for so long does not always change over night. But I am happy to say today, that serving God is so rewarding. And I write to you as a man free from addiction and idolatry.
I am not sure what idols you are serving, but I know the way out. BUT IF FROM THERE... I challenge you to take inventory of your life. Are you serving an idol? God is a jealous God, and He will not settle for second place in our lives. Maybe like me, you eyes are opened with this passage and you are ready to move from there.

HEART OF SORROW
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. see what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter."
II Corinthians 7:10-11

Alright, I have already decided that I am going to put it all out on the line today and risk what you might think of me. Why? Because it is time. I wrote last time about my episode with kidney stones and how God opened my eyes to healing. I praise God because my eyes continue to be opened. Within the past week God has made Himself and His Word more alive to me.
I am not sure what your stance on spiritual warfare is. Some believe it is very real, and some do not. I grew up in a home where we were taught it was real. We had normal prayer times where we would pray through our house, do spiritual cleanings, and be on the lookout for ways the devil may try to attack. But you know, there is always that point where one has to make his or her own decisions as opposed to believing the ideas and thoughts of others. I have teetered on this for awhile, but over the weekend it became my personal conviction.
Romans 8:28 says that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him..." What good can come from kidney stones? For me, it was a wake up call spiritually. Although you may not agree, I believe that this was an attack from the enemy. I know my diet had some to do with it, and I have already put changes in place and lost 12 pounds. But leading up to September 9, I can see other areas where my life was being attacked. The devil's main mission is to steal, kill, and destroy us (John 10:10). This indeed is what he was trying to do to me.
But again I question, what good can come from kidney stones? As I began to read more of the Bible this week, and read websites concerning spiritual warfare, my eyes began to be opened. I was allowing the enemy in. There were doorways that were opened for him to walk in simply because of my behaviors and choices. I made the choice to view pornography and engage in acts of intimacy outside of marriage. I made the choice to lie. I made the choice to watch movies alone that I would never watch if God was physically sitting on my couch with me. No one made these choices for me; I made them alone. As I began to see my sins in this light, I began to cry. I was seeing how I was hurting God.
I John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sin, God will forgive our sin. I believe my sins were forgiven, but I must admit that in the back of my mind I had a plan to return to my sin. When I was married and got caught viewing porn by my wife, I confessed to her and God how sorry I was. I was sorry - sorry I got caught. But when the dust settled and she thought all was different, I reverted right back to my previous state. II Corinthians 7:10 says there is a difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. I define it myself as such. Worldly sorrow is like condemnation, we kick our butts. But godly sorrow is like conviction, where we see it through God's eyes and it breaks our heart like it breaks His.
I experienced godly sorrow this weekend. In considering all these doorways I saw my sin in a new light. I began closing doors through prayer, and asking God again for forgiveness - not a cheap grace, but forgiveness for breaking His heart. I began to hate these past actions so much that I now want nothing to do with them. They have moved from a backup plan if life sucks, to a detesting. I have no intentions of going back to my sin. But, as a human, prone to sin, I need to daily pray and put on my armor so that I do not return. God's strength is stronger than my own.
I wonder what would happen if others would see their sin the way God does. If people realized that sleeping with your girlfriend breaks God's heart, or telling a little lie, or stealing something from work, or downloading illegally off the net, would we all be detested and start crying out for forgiveness in godly sorrow? II Chronicles 7:14 tells us that if we, as God's people, will humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways, THEN God will hear and heal. What doorways have you left open in your life for the enemy to come in and attack through? I encourage you to close the doors and seek God's face. He will heal, forgive, and love you. You don't have to be spiritually crazy, you just have to be bold enough to shut the door.

KIDNEY STONES
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."
Isaiah 53:5

It all started when I was playing Monopoly with my children. I began feeling a discomfort in my body. At first I brushed it off as maybe being dinner not agreeing with me. The pain, however, kept getting more and more intense till finally I was bent over with pain. Out of growing concern I made a call to my mom and explained the pain I was feeling. Her advice, get to the hospital. As one who is blessed with pretty good healthy, imagine my shock as I found out in the ER that night that I had kidney stones.
I will be the first to admit that before last week I knew very little about kidney stones. In my case the doctor broke up the stones, placed a stent in my body, and then released me 24 hours later. Without going into detail, I will say that the pain lessened with medicine and time. But I believe there was a third ingredient to the healing process. Being in pain, even for about the first week after, did little for my social life but wonders for my spiritual life.
I began to read the Bible, focusing on scriptures about healing and the methods that Christ used. And then I saw it. Tucked away in my study Bible notes were these words. "Only [God] can restore us permanently to physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wholeness." I read these words and a light clicked on. I am broken.
I was laying in my bed in physical pain. It hurt to walk, to use the bathroom, and to lift things. I wanted God to heal me. But as I read these words I began to see that I need healing in the other areas as well. As you probably know from either knowing me or reading my past entries, I am divorced, and with that comes other pains that need healing as well. Mentally my mind plays games daily. I battle self worth and hear messages repeated over and over in my mind about how terrible a person I am, and how I will never be good enough for anyone. I allow myself to beat myself down because of these lies. Emotionally I a wreck. I find myself living in fear of rejection and failure, depression, and constant sorrow. I have shut people out because I am afraid that they too will soon see nothing of value in me and turn away. And my eyes have been opened to realize that I have slowly been turning away from God. Spiritually I have made a distance.
The fact that I picked up my Bible this night to read about healing was no mistake. I saw that God wanted me to be healed in every area of my life. So as I began to pray, God's truths started coming to mind. Physically, God can and will heal. He healed the blind (Matt 9:29-30), the weak (Matt 9:6), the crazy (Matt 8:16; 28-34), the longtermers (Luke 8:43-44), and the ear of soldier (Luke 22:50-51) to name but few things.
Mentally God can heal me. The Bible says in Romans 12:2 to not be conformed to the world, but transformed by a renewed mind. I have for too long allowed the seeds of others to plant and root in my mind. So as funny as it may sound, God has shown that I need to dig out the memories, the words, the seeds of destruction and transform my mind with His truths. The truth is God does love me, that God has a plan for me, and that God will never leave me or reject me.
Emotionally God is able to heal me. He does not bring depression, loneliness, failure. Sure those are emotions that we all have at times, but we are not to stay in them. Psalm 23:4 says He brings us through the valley. We are not supposed to camp in the valley.
And spiritually, God wants to heal me. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first God. We are not to run from Him or take a vacation without Him. He wants to be a part of our every day life.
This entry may be a bit longer than the others, but the truth needs to be heard. Like me, we all have hurts and pains. We all need healing. You may not have kidney stones or be divorced, but you have reason to be be healed. Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." This is good news for us. Just as Jesus healed when He was on earth, so He is able to heal us in every area right now. Where do you need healing? Remember, by his wounds we are healed.

SCARLET LETTER
"Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' - and you forgave the guilt of my sins."
Psalm 32:5

Written by Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter is a love story between a minister and a married woman sent ahead of her husband to America. When her husband does not follow in due time, she believes him dead. She pursues a relationship with the minister, but soon after realizes that her husband is not deceased afterall. Having already moved into this new relationship, she is destined to wear a scarlet "A" on her chest. The letter "A" represents the act of adultery that she committed and is to be a symbol of her sin for all to see.
While I am not promoting this book, I am able to relate to this book. For clarity sake, I did not commit adultry. But I did learn shortly after my divorce that people tend to look at me one of two ways. There are those who know the story, followed along, counseled me in the midst of, and understood when the final actions took place. But there are also those who feel like I did not do enough, gave up too easy, or maybe even had 'someone else' waiting in the wings. I have given up trying to convince people since they only believe what they want to anyway. But from friends and church, one thing is the same. I have been given my own scarlet letter. A "D" has been stamped on my chest because of my divorce.
I recently heard my pastor speak on John 8 concerning the woman caught in the act of adultry. The Pharisees came to Jesus with the woman in hand ready to stone her for her sin. This action was right according to the Law. But when they questioned Jesus, He simply knelt down and wrote the mystery words in the dirt. Jesus got back up and stated, "If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" (Jn 8:7). From old to young, the people left till no one was there to stone her.
I am not saying that I was the perfect husband; believe me I know my faults and take my blame. And I am not here to smash the integrity of my ex wife. But I am here to challenge us as Christians. Too often we are too quick to judge and play the role of God. We slap a letter on other people's chests, but do we realize that we are wearing one too? Not all of us have committed adultry, or gotten a divorce, but we all have sinned. We all wear the letter "S" on our chests because we are all sinners. It is for this reason that Christ died for us. When we confess our sins, He forgives the guilt of our sins as stated here is Psalm 32. Christ's blood washes away our sins, and as a result we no longer have to walk around with scarlet letters on our chests.
I urge and encourage you today, to examine yourself. Are you wearing an "S" on your chest? If so, then like me, stop covering yourself and acknowledge your sin. Confess your sins to God. He will forgive you and cover your "S" with His blood.

HIS STORY IS HISTORY
"Do not gloat over me. my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light"
Micah 7:8

I heard a quote over the weekend that stirred me.
"Every man creates his story - HISTORY. What will HISTORY reflect of you?"It caused me to do some thinking in the hours and days that followed. I first thought of Jesus and how His story changed the world. If He had not come to earth to become our redemption, then for me, life would be worth nothing.
But this concept can be seen in all history. Christopher Columbus wrote his story as a man on a mission to explore the world. Harriet Tubman's story was of an underground railroad that would help to free many slaves. George Washington Carver allowed his story to read the many uses for a peanut. Adolph Hitler penned his story as a murderer of millions. The list goes on and on, good and bad, man and woman. History does not play favorites as it gives everyone the chance to journal. What is journaled, however, depends on the author.
What will HISTORY reflect of you? These words still challenge me. Some days I feel like my life is still an open empty book waiting to be written in. Other times I feel like my past has already written my future for me, so there is nothing new to add in the book. But that is where I am wrong, and where Micah 7:8 begins to take shape. In every one's book there will be stories of victory as well as defeat. In those lines of sadness or error, our enemy tries to keep us down. The villain never wants a happy ending, so he will twist the story to work in his favor. If we allow ourselves to be robbed of the happy ending, then yes, our story is complete and not many will reflect on the legacy our pages left.
But I encourage you with this. You are the main character in your story, and the story isn't finished yet. Let us not end our story in defeat, but say to our enemy that there is no cause to rejoice over a stumble or a moment of darkness. My story begins and ends with the LORD Himself, raising me out of my despair and placing me in the light of His countenance.
"Do not gloat over me. my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light"
Write your story...write history for all to remember.

WEIGHTS
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Hebrews 12:1

I read the testimony this week of Jennifer Brindley, founder of Rise Up! Ministries. She was talking about how she came to know Christ and her decision to start a health program. My attention was caught when I read, "mental weights are heavier than the physical weight." Now while I do not consider myself obese, I will share that I am about 15 pounds over the advised for my height and weight. However, I know that I am overweight when it comes to my mental weight.
The Bible tells us in this passage that we are to put off the weights that hinder us and the sin that entangles us so that we can run the race. For me, my biggest weight is my self esteem. Growing up I have always felt love from my parents and family, but from others it has always been a different story. I have had many experiences with rejection that have defined my life and given me the negative memories I find myself still trying to heal from. With this pain, I have also put dreams and desires on the shelf, or been extreemly cautious in making them come true. If you have followed this blog from the start, you know that my desires have included being a pastor and writing books. Yet I find that my biggest struggle is myself, and believing that my desires are God's desires, and as a result, that they will come true.
There are many testimonies of people like me who have overcome their past. Maybe their struggles were rejection and divorce like me, or other struggles associated to abuse, financial hardship, or bad family life. Either way, God still wants us to handle it the same way. To throw it off. I am reminded of Gideon who considered himself the runt of the family, yet was used by God to do something mighty. Perhaps you and I feel like we are the runts. It is time for us to throw off that mentality and believe who we are in Christ. It is impossible to run this race with perseverance when our mind is not focused on God.
In closing, I received an email today in response to a question I posed to a fellow dvorced friend. I asked what methods and scriptures she was holding to in these tough times of being recently divorced. And here is her response that goes beyond just a divorced person, but to the depth of overcoming weights. "I am walking with God because He is the light. If there are tunnels, He will be my beacon." Tunnels and dark spots in life are always going to be present. But let us walk with God so that these mental weights will cease holding us down.

HELP ME, I'M WEAK
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

As I have shared in the past, I am divorced. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and changes. Some days I am feeling good about where my life is headed, but other days I am sad as I look at all the things I lost in my divorce. To go from having someone there to come home to, to suddenly coming home to an empty house is tough. Or to go from shared responsibilities to having to handle everyday life alone is challenging. Add into the mix children, and life can quickly move into a state of survival. Now before I get nasty comments and all, let me advise you that my children are my world, and anyone who knows me knows I try hard to provide for my children. I refuse to be the 'Disney Dad', or the weekend and holiday dad. It has never been my intention to take my kids and run, or hurt my ex-wife by taking from her who is dear to us both. But the point I am trying to make, is that life is hard.
Life is hard whether or not you are divorced, though. I can look at others in my life and see they too have their hard times. My father is suffering from ALS. Everyday he struggles to breathe, or make a movement, or even talk. And my mother is faithful and takes care of him, from administering his food, to cleaning his tubes, to dressing him. And she does it all with a merry heart. Ask her years ago if she would have expected to see herself in this position and chances are she would have said no.
So what is it that keeps people like my father from giving up, or keeps my mother serving daily in tasks that make me nauseous? What is it that keeps me holding on when I like George Jetson am screaming out, "Get me off this crazy thing?" Where does the energy come from? On my own I have none. But here in Isaiah 41:10 we see that God provides the strength we need. I am fearful about my future; I don't know the next steps. I am concerned about what will happen to my father, and concerned who will help my mother since I do not live close by. Yet God says it so clearly. "...I will strengthen you and help you..."
Why am I so afraid that God will forget me and that I will be left to fend for myself. God says He will never leave me nor forsake me, yet I question if He even knows my name at times. The creator of life speaks these words to me, to my mother and father, and to you right now that He is our strength. It is true, I am weak. But in my weakness I find myself exactly where I should be. I am where even John the Baptist was when he responded, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30). Only in our weakness do we find His strength.

FOLLOW THE LEADER
"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." I Corinthians 11:1

When I was around the age of 12, my parents gave me a great responsibility. As one of the big brothers, my job was to ensure then that my 8 year old sister would be at the bus stop on time. Well it took only a few missed buses before I finally had a brainstorm of how to accomplish this. True with most children, curiosity and slow walking were our failure. So I took it upon myself to compose an idea that would grab her attention. The next day we played Follow the Leader. Knowing how much time we had, she followed my example of skipping, walking, waving hands, and when needed, running. By the time we got to the bus stop, we had time to spare. This idea worked so well that it became a daily game, everyday changing the actions some, and everyday making it to the stop on time.
I've read this verse many times over the years, and my mind always reverts back to those days of Follow the Leader. It wasn't that it was a magical game, but it was more that it kept my interest as a player and a leader for what actions were coming next. As I reflect on these days and consider the words of Paul, I can't help but think the same thing. The city of Corinth at this time was filled with fornication and every evil sinful act possible. When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, his message was about immorality, marriage, standard practices, communion, and the resurrection of Christ. In his stance for the truth in these matters, Paul wrote the bold words, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."
Follow the Leader, though, is never a one person game. Infact, following Christ is not even a one person game. Amos 3:3 questions, "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" The Leader, Christ, is always willing to play and is looking for those who will join Him in the game. There will be times of running, skipping, walking, but also times of showing compassion when we would rather not, blessing others when we are in need of a blessing ourselves, and dieing to Christ daily when we feel He is asking too much. The question then becomes, will we play this game with Him?
My sister was too young to know the point behind my method of the game. To her, it was just fun: to me, it was my responsibility of making sure she was on time. But you and I are old enough now to see that we are being beckoned to play this game, knowing the reason. The point is not hidden from us. It goes two ways, us following Christ, and us being an example or leader for others. The challenge I leave with you is this. Are you willing to follow His example in your life? Sure, it might mean giving up things. It might mean letting go of hindrances and sins that you are attached to. But isn't it worth it, following God into a life of freedom? And isn't it worth it to others you influence in so doing, to bring them closer to Christ as well because of your example as the leader?

DEVOTION AND CRAMPED HANDS
“…but he stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The LORD brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead.”
II Samuel 23:10

I love finding the little known stories in the Bible that pack a punch. The story of David’s thirty-seven brave warriors happens to be one of those. In fact, when I first read it I had to do a double take to make sure I was reading it right. Let me help paint the stage for you. David had a group of men known as his mighty men, and according to I Chronicles 11:10, gave his kingship strong support to extend over the whole land. They were all trained warriors and were devoted to David. If someone or something was in the way, they removed it. One of these mighty men was Eleazar, the son of Dodai the Ahohite. The Bible does not say much about Eleazar, but it says enough to make me think. Eleazar’s claim to fame was a tired hand. The Philistines were being taunted for battle at Pas Dammim. However, Israel retreated as they got close to a barley field. Eleazar did not retreat with the rest of Israel. No, he held tight to his sword, placed his feet firm in the ground, and began striking the oncoming Philistines. II Samuel 23 records that he fought so fierce that his hand froze and cramped around his sword. When the day was finished, David and his men received God’s victory.
The whole section concerning Eleazar happens to be just a few verses, but still I see something in there that we need to grasp. DEVOTION. Eleazar, as well as the other thirty-six men, were devoted to the king. Webster’s defines devotion as:
Religious fervor; the fact or state of being ardently dedicated and loyal.
David’s men were loyal to him. They not only helped him get and keep his kingly status when others challenged David’s authority, but they also laid down their lives for the king. Even in this example we see that where so many shrank back, these men stood their ground.
Devotion is something that many Christians lack. For instance, Exodus 20:3 shows the first commandment as, “You shall have no other gods before me.” Devotion would say through action that nothing is more important than God. Devotion would resist temptation and flee evil. Devotion would not let things like gluttony, porn and lust, money, or any other idol come before God. But that is not true of our culture; at least it was not for me. For years I called myself a follower of God because I had prayed the sinner’s prayer, but my lifestyle was not portraying God as God. My idol was pornography. My god was lust. The object of my affection was what made me feel good. I was loyal and dedicated, but not to God, but rather to my god.
I don’t know where your devotion lies, but I can only pray that like me you have seen the light. I pray that you have made God your God and that now you are devoted to Him. With the same tenacity that Eleazar had as he held on to his sword to defend his king, I pray that you are holding your ground when evil and temptation come at you to distract you from God. Know this, life is not easy. Our devotion will forever be challenged; sin will always be crouching at our door. But, here is our hope spoken from Jesus, Himself. “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

SURPRISING ANSWERS
"Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11:24

This past weekend the kids and I attempted to watch the fireworks. The day was going well till about 5:30 or so when I looked out the window of the pizza parlor we were in and noticed it was starting to rain. Our hope was that the rain would pass and we would be able to see the show still. However, our wish was not granted and around 8:15, with no hope in sight of a clearing, we started our journey back home.
I will be honest, I have a hard time driving in the dark, and an even worse time during the rain. When we started to drive back home, it was a sprinkle. However, about 10 minutes down the road the sprinkle became a down pour. Panic came over me as I drove. I could not tell if I was in my lane or that of oncoming traffic, and many times I had to come to a complete stop when other cars approached me. When the opportunity came, I pulled off the road and sat there in the car with the kids to wait out the storm. Still it pounded, and still we sat.
I grabbed my son’s hand, as he too was afraid, and we prayed. We prayed for peace, prayed for protection, and prayed that the storm would lighten up to allow us to get home. Within two minutes of our prayer the rain was light enough for me to drive, and my son was sleeping in the backseat, just like his sister. The drive home was completed and we were kept safe.
Here is the question I ask myself. Why was I so shocked when God answered my prayer? If I believe in who God is, then why am I so amazed when God shows Himself true? I believe Abraham had enough faith to trust that even if he did sacrifice his son, God was God enough to bring Isaac back to life. David had faith enough to know that God could use him to smite Goliath. Hosea trusted God enough to believe that Gomer would be reunited with him in marriage. The prophets believed that the prophesies about Jesus would come true. And the women with the issue of blood had enough faith to believe that in touching Jesus’ garment, that she would be healed. But yet I pray and wonder if God will do what I pray, and then am surprised when it comes to pass.
Hebrews 13:8 says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. So if God did miracles, signs, wonders, and healings back when He was on the earth, then would He not still be able to do these same miracles, signs, wonders, and healings today? Any why am I so surprised when my prayers are answered? I have been on missions and seen people get healed, delivered, and turn their heart over to Christ. Yet every time this happens I am shocked to see that God has used me. Do I have faith? Do I believe that God hears everyone but me? Does God hear me?
The answers to all these questions are yes. God hears me when I pray. James 2:1 tells us that God has no favorites. My challenge is to believe that when I pray, not only does God hear me, but also wants to answer me. When I pray God’s will, He will give me the desires of my heart. Let’s bring this back to my drive home, though. God wanted me to have peace and safety. It should not surprise me to see God heal, giants fall, relationships healed, and unreachable people come to Christ. Nor should it surprise you. Our challenge is to believe when we pray. After all, God IS the same.

ARE YOU READY TO DIE?
“What man can live and not see death, or save himself from the power of the grave?”
Psalm 89:48

This week we mourn the death of three people: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. The odds of three American icons dying in the same week should seem strange, but really it is more common than we may care to believe. Once the first person passes, I find myself wondering who will be next. But everyone in America knew these three, despite who you were. Ed McMahon brought stars to the stage, and we all wished we were the lucky winner of that big check. Farrah Fawcett was not only Charlie’s Angel, but an American angel who made age seem like a number and not a lifestyle to embrace. And then Michael Jackson, who in my definition, was one of the most talented dancers of my time.
The Bible says that it is appointed to all men to die once (Heb 9:27). The question is, are we ready? When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they were warned that the consequence would be death (Gen 2:17). Yet tempted with twisted words, they took a bite and their eyes were opened to their nakedness and shame. Were they ready to die? Isaac had no real choice. Abraham his father was obeying God and placed Isaac on the altar to sacrifice him. God intervened and told Abraham not to lay a hand on the child (Gen 22:12). But was Isaac ready to die? Esther laid down her life for her people. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into the blazing furnace. Daniel was thrown into a lion’s den. And let us not forget about all the disciples. Foxe’s Book of Martyrs tells us about others being crucified, tortured, burned, cut, beheaded. Were all these followers ready to die?
Are you ready to die? I am not. There is more I want to do in life. The problem is that I am running against the clock. If I cannot stop death and have no power over death itself, then I need to make sure my life is in order. Sure I have personal goals for myself, like visiting every state, traveling to see some of the greatest landmarks built, growing old and even, God willing, getting married again. But right now I am talking about my life in relation to God’s standards. Because of His love for me, Jesus gave up His life to save mine. Was He ready to die, to save a wretch like me? And yet because of His sacrifice for my life, He paved the way so that I can, in some peaceful way, be ready for death.
Do I want to die? No. But I know that when it is time, I will go to Heaven. How can I be so sure? Romans 10:9-10 is my guarantee. “That if you confess with your mouth that ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” We will all die, there is no escape from it. The question to ponder is will we be ready when that time comes. I hope to live a nice full life, but if God saw fit to take me soon, then I would be ready because of the condition of my heart.
I do not know the beliefs and hearts of these three icons; I cannot sit in the judgment of these three. I can only judge my own heart. The same is true for you. Ask yourself right now, am I ready for death? Do you believe in God, and in the sacrifice He made to pave the road of love for us? Maybe you think that your good works or donations will get you into heaven. It will not; the only way is Jesus. Michael cannot dance his way into heaven. Farrah cannot act so well that the truth is not seen. Ed cannot hand Jesus one of those big checks. God looks at our hearts and listens for our confession. Do you believe and have you confessed? If not, then right now I challenge you to accept Christ into your heart.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING
“And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”
Est 4:14

I am going to be honest and tell a story from my college days. My junior year I decided I wanted to be a student chaplain. I applied, and began my series of interviews. The first one was a quick, "Why do you want to be a chaplain?" five minute meet and greet with a current chaplain. My second interview included a devotional taught to the guys of a chaplain I was paired up with. This last interview, however, seemed to be the most dreaded as it was done by the men's chaplain and two of the more seasoned chaplains.
There I sat, waiting my turn, not knowing what was about to be asked of me. I was ushered in and the questions began. I was doing well...and then the question I wasn't ready for. "So other than Jesus, who is your favorite character of the Bible?" Paul came to mind, but that would be too common. I wanted something different. Panic started as the three second pause in the room became a three minute pause in my head. "Esther," I said. The men looked at each other, and then at me and questioned, “Why Esther?" Honestly, this is what came out of my mouth. "Because she was HOT!" I was able to redeem myself after the looks and laughs, though, as I then said how she was a key character in the Bible and in showing how God works behind the scenes to save His people. And truth be told, it really is.
Here was Esther, dragged from her uncle Mordecai and required to be part of a royal beauty contest. Her hidden secret was that she was a Jew, so to save her life she was requested by her uncle to tell no one. Esther pleased King Xerxes and won his heart, yet still she did not reveal her nationality (Est 2:19). Haman the Agagite was elevated by the King and all the royal officials paid honor to him. All except for Mordecai. Knowing not that Queen Esther was a Jew, nor a relative of Mordecai, Haman became angry that Mordecai would not bow down and honor him. So Haman approached the King and discussed the Jews and his plot to kill the race. When Mordecai told Esther of Haman’s intent, he challenged her with these words. “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” (Est 4:13-14).
For the queen to come before the king uncalled upon was death. Yet Esther put her life on the line and dressed in her royal gown, approached Xerxes. Her only request was for dinner with the King and Haman, to which they both agreed. When the king questioned her reasoning for dinner, she told him she would tell him again the next night, if they agreed to dinner again. And so they did; and so the King asked her intent. Esther cried out for the salvation of her people. “If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life – this is my petition. And spare my people – this is my request” (Est 7:3).
God had placed Esther in her position for just that moment, and used her to save a nation. To this day, Purim is celebrated by the Jews as a memory of what God did. Was Esther’s journey easy? By no means. Being taken from her family, forced to marry by decree, and having to find the strength to not only be a queen, but to stand up for her people in the face of death…that is courage. And yet we are no different. God has called us all to something great, but the question is will we be like Esther and rise to the occasion? God is willing to give us the strength we need to face the kings and the Haman’s in our lives. He was able to give David the strength to stand before Goliath. And he was able to take a runt like Gideon and use him to smite an army when he thought he was no good. So how about us? Are we any different? No. So then, it must be true also of you. Who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?

MAKE UP YOUR MIND
“Elijah went before the people and said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’”
I Kings 18:21

So the prophet Elijah lays down a challenge to King Ahab. He tells Ahab to gather the people from all over Israel to meet him on Mount Carmel. This includes the four hundred fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah. And once they are all gathered together, Elijah posses this question. “How long will you waver between two opinions?” You see, the people of Israel were not necessarily trying to rid God from their lives, but were moreso trying to mix a blend of God and other gods into their daily practices. They wanted to combine a worship of both.
Elijah then challenged the prophets of Baal to choose a bull and prepare it, call on the name of Baal, and request that he send fire on the altar. So the prophets spent the morning preparing and calling out, even dancing around their altar, yet no fire came. Elijah taunted them by saying that maybe their god was asleep or traveling, and that they should shout louder and work harder to get his attention. And the prophets did, cutting their bodies, screaming louder and continuing frantic prophesying until evening. When there was still no response, Elijah stepped up to the plate.
Elijah took twelve stones and built an altar, dug a trench around it to hold about five gallons of water, fixed his wood and meat, and then had four jugs of water poured on the altar three times. By all accounts the wood was soaked and should have been too wet to even burn. Then Elijah lifted a simple prayer. “Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God.”
“Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench” (18:38). God came down in a mighty force and showed himself true. How could those who watched this event deny that God existed? How can you and I, who read this story and the countless others in the Bible, deny God or still try to mix God with sin in our own life. Years before this event, Joshua said pretty much the same words. In Joshua 24:15, we read, “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”The challenge here is easy to see. We must choose between God or the gods that steal us from Him. The choice is not so easy, though. Sure, the temptations of life call our name and beckon us to follow and give in. And I admit, I have given in many times myself. But it is time that we make up our mind and consider the words that Joshua and Elijah dared challenge us with. Stop wavering and make up your mind.

TO OBEY IS BETTER
"But Samuel replied, 'Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.'"
I Samuel 15:22

Some of the greatest lessons we will ever learn come from learning them firsthand. As a child we seem to learn to not touch a hot stove only by touching it once and feeling the result. In fact, in many cases as kids, it only takes one time of punishment to realize what actions we should not do. But why is it that we have to learn the hard way? When my son was a toddler, my wife at the time and I worked through a program called Growing Kids God's Way. Although I did not agree with every detail, the concept of first time obedience and expecting it from my children was valid. My children, for the most part, obey the first time to this day. However, I cannot say that this same concept is always true of me. At times I find myself like King Saul in I Samuel 15.
The prophet Samuel had shared with Saul that he was to attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belonged to them, including wives, children and all livestock. So Saul set out to do this. However, when it was all said and done, it was only half done. Saul had spared the evil king's life, as well as the best sheep and cattle. Because Saul did not follow fully God's command, God was grieved to have made Saul king. Samuel was sent back to Saul with a new message, this time of bad news.
Saul was happy to give his status report about following God's commands, but when questioned about the animals and the king, Saul blamed his men and said they were for a sacrifice. Sadly, Samuel gave Saul his news that because Saul had not completely obeyed God's command to totally destroy the Amalekites and all they owned, God was rejecting him as the king of Israel. Saul confessed that he did not obey for fear of his people, but it was too late.
How many times do we miss out on God's true blessings for us due to our lack of obedience? Saul was ready to go and make amends with God and give Him a sacrifice, but the point was God wanted obedience from the start. I am guilty of this. I find myself at times not doing what I know God is saying. I am grateful that God does forgive, but that doesn't mean I should go sin on purpose (Romans 6:14). I must obey. If I want God's blessing on my life I must obey all He asks of me. And sometimes what He asks is out of my comfort zone, or contrary to what I want to do. But for you and I, before it is too late, we must obey.

GOD'S INSURANCE POLICY
You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow. Say this: "God, you're my refuge. I trust in you and I'm safe!" That's right - he rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you - under them you're perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm.
Psalm 91:1-4 Message

Last month I received paperwork in the mail advising me that my renter's insurance policy was needing to be renewed. At first I thought, 'it's been a year already?', which then led to the question, 'it's going up that much?' So I started shopping around to see what better deals I could find and still get the same coverage. Last night my journey came to an end as I found an agent from church that was able to help me save on both my renter's and auto policy.
But as I was driving into work today, I was reminded about all the times God has kept me safe. His Word says that He is our shield and rampart, and He will protect us from harm. Now first let me say that this does not mean I should not have insurance. I believe that it is a wise thing to own, especially since evil looms in this world and we are all subject to it. But to put all my faith in an insurance policy is crazy. God is a faithful and loving God, and He protects His people.
In the NIV version of this passage, it reads in verse 4 that, "his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." In the Hebrew, Strong's defines these words as COCHERAH and TSINNAH. A Cocherah is a shield or buckler. Tsinnah is something piercing and also shielding. So to think of these words in this context, God is saying that His firm truth and faithfulness is our fortified and protecting shield. When God says that He will take care of us, we can live in the assurance that He will. When God says that He will protect us from the terror by night, or the arrow that flies by day (verse 5), then we can rest in knowing that He will be the shield that covers us from the onslaught of evil coming our way.
In who is your insurance? Do you trust only the people who cover all states, or in the lizard that searches out the best deal? Are you trusting the farmer to protect you? While it is wise, and sometimes required, to have this world's insurance, I challenge you to not trust soley in these methods. Trust in God to protect you and bring you safety. Believe me, the best 'good hands' you can ever be in are God's safe hands.

MISSION: STRAIGHTAWAY
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

The match strikes and the theme begins. You know the theme, even if you never watched the T.V. show. Mission: Impossible. I was too young to see every episode, but I saw the movies. I loved how the plot twisted just as I thought I had it figured out. I enjoyed the character changes, trickery, and the death defying missions of Tom Cruise's character Ethan Hunt. But as much as I may want to accept his missions, I have my own mission that I must choose to accept. I have been charged to accept
MISSION: STRAIGHTAWAY.
The Hebrews 12:1 passage is right on the heels of the great faith chapter of Hebrews 11 where we are given a glimpse of the great one in the Bible who acted on a faith in Christ. We're given the names of Abraham, Moses, Rahab, and David to name a few. And we're told of the crossing of the Red Sea, the victory over Jericho, the persecution of the prophets and saints. But Hebrews 11 leaves us with these words in verse 40, "God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would [those before us] be made perfect. Did you catch that? There is something better for all the saints, but we must stand on the shoulders of those before us. We do have a gathering of believers who have gone before us, lived their lives and performed their deeds, and have passed the torch on to us. That vast gathering includes saints of old, like Moses, David, Daniel, Stephen, Paul, and other well known names in the Bible. But it also includes people like Polycarp, Tertullian, John Wesley and Charles Spurgeon and those who continued to spread Christianity and shape it as we know it today.
And we are challenged to be the next witnesses in this grand gathering. As such, the instruction for us is laid out in this passage. "...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles..." We are called to run straightaway, to run without hesitation or delay. As it would be a challenge for a runner to win a race carrying a bag of rocks against others who weren't, so it is a challenge for us to run our race with sin tripping us up and weighing us down. Can we expect to take the torch and run with our sin, and still cover the ground needed to reach our goal in this race we are on? Are not those after us waiting for us at our mark to receive the torch from us?
The challenge is to run with perseverance. Perseverance defined means to persist in a state, enterprise, opposition, or discouragement. We will not reach our goal if we do not persist. We will not leave the spiritual legacy to those who follow us if we are entangled in the sin that prevents us from our goal. It is our mission to run without hesitation. So, your mission, should you choose to accept, is to run straightaway. Do you accept
MISSION: STRAIGHTAWAY?

NOT ONE FORGOTTEN
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”
Luke 23:42-43

Tomorrow I will wake up to my children laughing with excitement that the Easter Bunny has come. There will be Easter eggs, chocolate, egg searches, and holiday classics on TV, like the Ten Commandments. Church attendance will be up, stores will be closed, and hyper kids will rule the day.
So what is the true meaning of Easter? I am sad to say that I asked my children this just days ago and my oldest (almost 7), told me he was not sure. I was sad to hear this answer after his years in Sunday school, as well as his mother and I taking time to tell our kids about the great moments of Christ. His response was that he knew about the bunny and the eggs he would get, but thought that Jesus did something of importance, but could not tell you what. As we continued to talk I was proactive to tell him the details in hopes that it would make sense and be remembered.
As I was telling my son of the Easter meaning, I began to remember this one portion of scripture. Jesus’ mission was to seek and save the lost. His time spent of earth was a time of winning hearts through His teachings, miracles, and character. He told us to ‘be holy as [He] was holy.’ He called His believers His sheep and said they would know His voice and obey. He constantly reached out to the broken and wounded, and energized their hearts with His words and touch. He truly accomplished His mission of seeking and saving.
And here, in Luke 23, we see in Jesus’ most humiliating moment that He was still reaching out. As the thief on the cross next to Jesus called out to be remembered, Jesus simply told him that he would be with Jesus in paradise. The thief knew that he was guilty for his actions and knew that he needed salvation. Jesus knew it too and He provided the way. The good news, however, is that Jesus still saves. His death on the cross was for us, just as it was for that thief. His sacrifice on the cross became our ability to live in eternity with Him.
But we do not get in by our good behavior, or on the coat tails of our parents, or even by the fact that we donate funds to charity yearly. Romans 10:9-10 makes it clear that there is a narrow path that we must walk. “That if you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” We must ask God into our lives for true salvation. God has not forgotten you but waits for your heart to be willing given to Him. The challenge is to contemplate your salvation. Are you saved? Christ died and rose again for you. Maybe you are one who stumbled on this site by accident. The good news is that God loves you and paved a way for you to come into a relationship with Him. You, just like the thief, will not be forgotten by the simple prayer of, “Jesus, remember me when you enter your kingdom.” And to the one who has walked for so long with Christ, you are not forgotten either. God told the people of Israel that He would never leave them nor forsake them. So here we are, years after Jesus’ death and resurrection, and He is still working to accomplish the same task in our lives…seeking and saving us when we are lost. No one is forgotten.

MORE MUSTARD PLEASE
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

Last month was a trying time for me, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I started up my car and was ready to hit the road and go to work. I was ready, but my car wasn't. Overnight my power steering went out. And not just the hose and power steering fluid, but the rack and pinion. I was able to get to work with the help of a friend, and was able to borrow a car for a few days while my was being looked at, but when I got the call from the mechanic concerning the price, my faith was challenged. It was going to cost so much more than I had that even the mechanic advised it would be better to purchase a new car.
So I hit the floor, balancing between panic and faith. At times, though, it was more panic than faith. I had to make myself be strong and believe that God had my needs in mind. I had to believe God's word, that He would be my Jehova Jirah, my provider. Within three days of hearing the news I received a call that someone I didn't know had heard about my need and was prepared to help me purchase a used car. And this car came with lower miles, better gas mileage, and other features that were either better or newer than the car I was losing. I knew I was being blessed.
But here's what I stumble. I don't consider myself to be a giant of faith. I have seen God move in my life and those times have been stepping stones for me. For instance, like when I broke my femur in that 'just right' spot and was told by the doctor I would not walk again without surgery, and God healed me completely and I walk just fine. Or when I sold my house in six days when the market wasn't at it's best. I have seen God use me to pray for others and they get healed, and that too builds my faith. But I am no giant. I still question if God can at times...not so much will He...but can He?
Recently I was talking with my girlfriend about all the things we are wanting to see God do, and I found myself referencing this verse to her about having a mustard seed of faith. And then it hit me, I didn't have a lot of faith that God would work out a car for me. I expected to go deep into debt with a loan of some sort. I had about a mustard's seed worth of faith, and even that I had to 'muster' up. But that is what God says is enough for Him to work with. If we have a mustard's seed worth, then we have enough to move mountains, have bills paid, experience healing, and even see miracles. If NOTHING is impossible with just a mustard seed, then the limits are limitless.
So what are you believing God for? Do you believe it will come to pass and that God has your best in mind? Take it from someone who has recently experienced this for himself. All it takes, all we are required to have, all we need is a mustard seed of faith. Come on, I know you can muster that up.

POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND
For God has not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
II Timothy 1:7

Over the weekend my children and I visited my girlfriend in North Carolina. It was a great little trip and we all had fun. We stayed long enough to visit her church as well. The kids were ushered to a Sunday School class with her kids, and the adults were left to enjoy a few minutes with other adults. When the classes were done, my son brought me his paper from class to hold. While I was waiting for service to start I began looking at his lesson. The sheet gave the children a chance to comment on what their worries were. As I read his paper, I saw he had marked:
- not getting along with his sister
- people aren't taking good care of the earth, and
- some country may attack ours
Given the choices on the paper, I'm sure he marked ones that are true to him. But it began to make me think about how I would have responded to this same question. What are MY worries?
- will my finances be enough to support my family
- do my kids know I love them
- am I a good father
- have I missed God's calling on my life
- when I leave this world, will my legacy be positive or negative
Of course I have more worries, but this list will do for now.
But what does God say to us in His Word about fear and worry. If we know that in John 16:33 Jesus tells us we will have troubles but to take heart, He has overcome the world, then shouldn't that give us some relief? And how about II Timothy 1:7 where we are told that God has given us power, love, and a sound mind, and not fear?
Let's take a minute to break this passage in II Timothy down, though. Fear comes from the devil. God did not give us the devil. No! He banished the devil from his place of holiness because the devil was not holy. So then what are we given?
POWER - Acts 1:8 tells us that we will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon us.
LOVE - I John 4:8 states that God is love
SOUND MIND - Isaiah 9:6 shares with us that one of the names for Jesus will be Prince of Peace.
So let's put it all together. God has not given us the devil. No! He has given us the Holy Spirit as our power, God Himself as our love, and Jesus Christ as our peace. It is a three against one battle and we already who is going to win. So the challenge to you and me is to stop focusing on our fears and focus on those who fight for and with us. Sure, we are human and we get tangled in our minds with the things that we see and feel and know, but still our focus should be on the Trinity. Our victory over fear and worry comes from above.

AN ALL-AROUND GOD
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.
Psalm 139:7-10

I am honored to say that I am the parent of two young children who I love dearly. But I am also human, and sometimes my children run my last nerve. If you have children, then you will probably agree with me that no matter how much we love them, there are those moments when we just need a few minutes alone. For me, that time normally comes while I am in the shower. For that brief few moments I am alone. I am able to let my thoughts be mine and not my children's, able to filter out my day and prepare for the next moment, and able to focus on what other pressures need my attention. I know that when the water stops and I open my door I will be super-dad again and be asked to bring justice between the two, or prepare a meal, or turn the movie on. But I welcome it.
But in those times when I am able to escape my children for a shower, I am not able to escape my title. If an emergency broke out, I would be quick to end my alone moments and tend to my children. The truth is that they can not escape their title as my children either. And the same is true with God and us. Infact, it is deeper. God is all knowing and all present. He knows our every move. When I am 'alone', I am really not alone. And David says it so well, that there really is no place I can go where His hand will not guide me or hold me fast.
God knows the number of hairs on our head (Matt 10:30), He knows our thoughts and our hearts (Ps 7:9), and He wears our names in the palms of His hands (Isa 49:16). We are always on His mind. But the challenge then becomes where He is in relation to our mindset. In a few days it will be Saint Patrick's Day, and as a student and fan of church history, I want to close today's thoughts with the words of Saint Patrick. Perhaps they will challenge you to wear Christ as we are worn by Him.

Christ With Me, Christ Before Me
Christ to protect me today
against poison, against burning,
against drowning, against wounding,
so that there may come abundance or reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.