LEARNING TO TRUST
Be patient for the LORD and keep His way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.
Psalm 37:34

Growing up I was not allowed to listen to music that wasn't Christian. Now of course I had a few tapes that mom didn't know about, but for the most part I obeyed the rules. So I grew up with my favorites, like Crumbacher, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kim Boyce, and David Meece. The thing I loved about David Meece's music, however, was that he took classic Bach and Chopin and mixed it with his own style and lyrics. He had his share of ballads too, and in these I found a source of strength and encouragment. One such song was Learning to Trust.
The chorus of this song reads:
-(That's why I'm) Learning to trust in you
-In everything I do
-Learning to trust in you
-Cause I know in my heart that your true
-I'm learning to trust in you
-But sometimes it's so hard to do
Why is it so hard to trust God? Look at the Fathers of the Faith. Abraham believed God would give him a nation and yet didn't have a child till he was 86 years old. And even then, this was not the chosen child. Isaac wasn't even born for another 14 years. Abraham had faith that God would keep His word. He learned to trust in God.
What about Joseph and his dreams? God gave him dreams when he was still young and yet family didn't even believe him. When he shared his dreams of grain bowing down, they called him crazy. Yet Joseph knew these dreams were from God. Thrown in prison for a crime he did not commit, he did not lose faith. He learned to trust in God. When the time was right, God elevated him from a prison to a place of authority.
Moses also learned to trust in God. In Exodus 3:10 God tells Moses that he has been chosen to deliver the Israelites out of Egypt and bring them to the land of milk and honey. Sure, Moses made the excuses but still went on this wild ride with God and had to trust in Him at every step. The promise was real, and the Promised Land was reached.
I was inspired this week by the word WAIT. I have looking up verses in the Bible that speak about waiting and patience, and found Psalm 37:34. Be patient for the Lord and keep his way. With Abraham, we see that Ishmael was born first, but was not God's decision. Abraham took matters into his own hands instead of waiting on God. I have made the mistake myself many times rushing into something that is not God's number one decision. Thank God for grace and forgiveness, but if I had been patient and trusted God, the mistake would not have been made.
He will exalt you to inherit the land. God has a reward for us, but cannot give it to us until the time is right, so we must be patient and obey. Joseph saw this firsthand. He didn't try to break out of jail, or try to squeeze into leadership. God promoted within the jail, and later outside of jail. God allowed Joseph to inherit the land.
When the wicked are cut off, you will see it. Can you imagine what Moses saw when he looked back and watched the Red Sea wash away the Egyptians chasing him? He trusted God and extended his staff over the water, and God came through. And it is no different for us. We too will see God's deliverance.
But the whole verse, the whole story, the whole lesson starts with a single word...WAIT. It is so hard to do, but the benefit is so rewarding. It is just like in pregnancy. A couple waits nine months for their child to be born, but the reward of that child is great. So it with us. God has a reward for us, and we want it so badly, but is the time right? Are we being asked to wait? And if we are, are we kicking and screaming about the wait, or are we trusting that the wait will be worth it all in the end? Only you can answer that. As for me, I have decided that I will learn to trust.

JUST SAY NO!
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
James 4:7

I can still remember all the mottoes and slogans that would fill the airwaves back in the 1980's. Yes, I am aware I am dating myself, but go back in time with me. It was around this time that S.A.D.D. and M.A.D.D. grew in popularity. The 'beef' was questioned. Pepsi was the choice of a new generation. And "Just say No" was the catch phrase used against violence, premarital sex, drugs, and other vices.
The phrase all started in 1982 when, then first lady, Nancy Reagan was asked by a schoolgirl what she should do when she was offered drugs. Reagan's response was, "Just say no." From there, a campaign was built, and a phrase that is still stuck in my head. In a way, though, this slogan was encouraged to us long before Nancy Reagan and her 'Just say No" campaigns.
In James 4:7 we are told to submit ourselves to God and just say no to the devil. It isn't always easy, though. Sin can be loads of fun. Hebrews 11:25 tells us that Moses chose to be mistreated with the slaves rather than continuing to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. We can all look at the things we have done and agree that many were probably fun. I had fun when I was in my years of pornography. I had fun getting away with telling lies. I had fun spending the money. But that fun was only temporary. When the 'moment' ended, I was faced with guilt, shame, and trying to figure out how I was going to pay a bill that I had just used my budgeted portion on.
In college, I remember our campus pastor, Bill Shuler, saying many times that we need to live "hindsight in a foresight position." What does that mean? It means we need to think of the end result before we engage. When I was in high school I dated a girl my senior year simply because I had heard she was semi-easy. Even though I wanted to have sexual relations with her, I didn't. Why? Because the whole time I kept thinking what would happen if she got pregnant? This was one of the few times I actually used the idea of the end to prevent the beginning. I wish I could say it has always been like that. But sin so easily tangles us. It is the carrot dangling in front of the rabbit.
Resist the devil and he will flee. How do we resist these temptations that seem so attractive, yet only end up as pythons straggling breath from us? The answer is submission to God. The Greek word for submit here is HUPOTASSO, which means to obey; to be a subject to God. Are we obeying God? James 4:8 fits behind this verse well when it says to draw near to God and He will draw near to us. When we are growing closer to God, we are more apt to obey Him from the start. Submission this way is easy. The closer I get to God, the more I want to be with God. His blessings far outweigh the temptations thrown at us. When I married, I was able to give myself to my wife as a virgin. The blessing and joy of that action even now, after 11 years and our divorce, is one of the highlights of my marriage. On my wedding night I felt no shame because she was my first.
I know that this entry has been focused mostly on sexual desires, but I can only write about the ways that I have been tempted. For you, temptation may be drugs, alcohol, gambling, telling lies. The list is endless, and the devil knows just what carrot to dangle over each of us. But the answer is still the same. RESIST THE DEVIL. Let's make it our goal to not give one more inch in our lives. Let's all begin to consider the end before we begin on a journey we may only regret later on.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Say_No

CHALLENGING HUSBANDS EVERY WHERE
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Ephesians 5:25

I wrote a letter to a friend today, which isn't a strange thing, but it was one that I wish would have been written to me years ago. See, more and more these days I hear about couples having marriage problems and being caught at that pivotal point where they weigh staying verses divorcing. I have learned not to judge, especially since I also had that decision to make. God hates divorce (Mal 2:16), but what if we looked our marriage with new eyes. Let me explain what I mean by sharing some of the lessons I've learned in the past two years.
I married in August of 1998 to a lady I met 2 years before while I was in college. She was part of a missionary group passing through town. We were fond of each other and after hitting it off well, I asked for her address. For the next 22 months we wrote back and forth and got to know each other more in our letters. On Thanksgiving of 1997 I took the Greyhound from Oklahoma to Montana to see her, and in our second face to face conversation, I proposed to her. She accepted, but the me I appeared to be in my letters was not the me I was in person.
After graduating in May 1998, I moved to Montana to enjoy the last 3 months of our engagement and being able to see her on a daily basis. It was then that she began to see me for who I truely was. In my letters I described myself as a Man of God, a wise person, a guy who could play the guitar well, sing better, and wanted to share God with all nations. The truth of who I was, though, was a guy addicted to porn, not fully devoted to her, no money, no real dreams, too much debt from student loans, and far from God. That is the man she married. I learned how to lie well, act well, and say the right things. But when I was alone I was a wreck and looking for my next fix. This constant Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine caught up with me and was the reason for many fights during those summer months. At one point she had considered not getting married to me because in her heart she felt it was not right. Pushed by me and my promise to change, as well as other friends I had convinced, we did marry.
As you can imagine, since our marriage was set on the right foundation, the marriage soon sank. On Aug 29, 2000 I was called into my boss' office and was fired because of viewing porn on the boss' computer. I went home that day to my wife and told a lie about false accusations, but the truth is I knew I had been caught. Two days later she moved out. I lost it all, my wife, job, miscarried child, friends. I lived on ramen noodles and beans since I had little money. I went looking for jobs daily, any type job. When I wasn't working I was fighting between trying to be right and better myself, and indulging my lust. I went to counseling, met with friends, and did anything I could to take the pain away. Finally I decided I needed real help and enrolled myself into Pure Life Ministries in Kentucky, where they counsel sexual addictions. I began to see my problems and their affect. I saw how my choices affected my wife, how they made her feel demeaned and worthless. I saw that my pain was the issue, and my drug of choice was porn. Although I was becoming a different man and finally growing up, I think the change was made too late. Years later the marriage would end in divorce.
Rejection, anger, frustration, loss, guilt, condemnation, loss of appetite, suicide...these are just a few of the feelings I had. No pain was worse than knowing that I had become a negative statistic. I had been slapped in the face by my own actions and the affect that they would have. And now, now that the paper work is done and I have been able to adjust to the divorced dad statistic, now I finally realize the pain of what I did years ago. I didn't think I was hurting anyone, but I hurt everyone with my porn. I hurt my wife...she never trusted me again. I hurt my children...because I broke up the family and stripped them of security. I hurt myself...I still deal with the waves of pain that come. But I also hurt God...who gave me all the blessings I had in life. My wounds were not from physical punches, but from choices. They hurt just the same. Damage to the body can heal, but damage to the heart takes longer, and in many cases does not heal. Unfortunately it turns to bitterness.
But here is the hope, the Great Romance. Because God loved us, and we had chosen to walk away, He sent His Son. He showed us the ultimate picture of love by making a sacrifice of His Son for us. You see Ephesians 5 talks about just this. The church is God's bride. God did all He could to show us His love. It is up to us to respond. For me, I have seen His love and want to love Him back. God is a gentleman and will not force us to love Him. It is a choice, and I have chosen to love Him. But is it not the same in marriage? Sure it is. I cannot make anyone love me, just as you cannot make your spouse love you. It must be something they choose. But our actions, words, thoughts, behaviors affect their decision. If our wives sees us husbands in love with Jesus, not a trick but really in love, then our wives see our heart. And when you are in love with Jesus, you begin to take on His character. Soon what the wife sees in the husband is really God in him coming outward. She then in turn will have no problem loving you, trusting you, wanting to be with you. But it all starts with the man.
Does God treat you, husband, the way you treat her? For me, the answer was no. God did not treat me with anger, judgment, or condescending words, yet I treated my wife this way. I wondered why she didn't love me early in our marriage, but it was because I was not reflecting Jesus. The wife's love for for husband will not exist until we as men reflect God. I learned this too late, and my wife's heart was already too wounded and bitterness had settled in. But you, husband, still have a chance. Divorce is not official with your marriage; it is just a word that you threaten each other with. But while there is still hope, while you still have the chance...Love God, reflect God, let her see God in you. God hates divorce. Take it from one who knows.