ON THE VANGUARD

HELP ME, I'M WEAK
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

As I have shared in the past, I am divorced. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and changes. Some days I am feeling good about where my life is headed, but other days I am sad as I look at all the things I lost in my divorce. To go from having someone there to come home to, to suddenly coming home to an empty house is tough. Or to go from shared responsibilities to having to handle everyday life alone is challenging. Add into the mix children, and life can quickly move into a state of survival. Now before I get nasty comments and all, let me advise you that my children are my world, and anyone who knows me knows I try hard to provide for my children. I refuse to be the 'Disney Dad', or the weekend and holiday dad. It has never been my intention to take my kids and run, or hurt my ex-wife by taking from her who is dear to us both. But the point I am trying to make, is that life is hard.
Life is hard whether or not you are divorced, though. I can look at others in my life and see they too have their hard times. My father is suffering from ALS. Everyday he struggles to breathe, or make a movement, or even talk. And my mother is faithful and takes care of him, from administering his food, to cleaning his tubes, to dressing him. And she does it all with a merry heart. Ask her years ago if she would have expected to see herself in this position and chances are she would have said no.
So what is it that keeps people like my father from giving up, or keeps my mother serving daily in tasks that make me nauseous? What is it that keeps me holding on when I like George Jetson am screaming out, "Get me off this crazy thing?" Where does the energy come from? On my own I have none. But here in Isaiah 41:10 we see that God provides the strength we need. I am fearful about my future; I don't know the next steps. I am concerned about what will happen to my father, and concerned who will help my mother since I do not live close by. Yet God says it so clearly. "...I will strengthen you and help you..."
Why am I so afraid that God will forget me and that I will be left to fend for myself. God says He will never leave me nor forsake me, yet I question if He even knows my name at times. The creator of life speaks these words to me, to my mother and father, and to you right now that He is our strength. It is true, I am weak. But in my weakness I find myself exactly where I should be. I am where even John the Baptist was when he responded, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30). Only in our weakness do we find His strength.