ON THE VANGUARD

THE SHADES OF SIN part 1
"And the nations will know that the people of Israel went into exile for their sin, because they were unfaithful to me. So I hid my face from them and handed them over to their enemies and they all fell by the sword."
Ezekiel 39:24

I have a memory from when I was about nine or so that has stuck with me, and for good reason I am sure. My neighbor had a lemon tree with a few lemons ready to be picked and I was more than ready to pick one. I snuck over into her yard under the disguise of getting my ball back, picked one, and bolted back over into my yard. With the fruit of my thievery in my hands, I climbed up our tree and sat on the branch to begin peeling the skin. The smell was fresh, the flavor tart, and the guilt thick.
The minute I finished the lemon I began to feel sick. It wasn't that the lemon was poisoned, but that the delivery was tainted. I had stolen. I had gone against God's command that thou shalt not steal (Ex 20:15). As I held this sin in my heart I allowed the guilt and shame of it to eat me up. The words of David in Psalm 32:3-4 were my words.
"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer."
When I could not take it any longer, I conjured up the strength needed to confess my sin to my mom. As she walked me through repentance with the Lord, the joy in my heart returned. I was forgiven and clean again.
Sadly enough, my days of sin never ended at that moment. As I grew up I dealt with times of rebellion, foul mouth, pride, attitude, selfishness, and lust to name a few. I think back to times when I grew so comfortable to sin that I no longer felt the Holy spirit's conviction for the sins I was committing. With every sin I was distancing myself from God and landing myself deeper into exile.
Honestly, I have always looked at sin in levels, or shades of color on a pallet. There are the big sins, such as murder, which are jet black in color. But then there are the little sins, such as taking a few paper clips home from work, that are like a light light gray or ivory color. As I have grown up, however, I have learned that God sees it one way. Sin is sin, and the only color of sin is black. If I chose to cheat, the color is black. If I want to murder, it is black. If I give someone the finger, it is black. And if I sneak a lemon when the neighbor is gone, or paper clips from work, it is black.
We read that God forgives our sins and in a way, has amnesia. But God is not color blind when it comes to sin. He knows two colors: the black of sin and the red of His blood covering our sin.
To know that God hides His face when I sin is depressing as I want Him to see me. Knowing that I am handed over to the enemy when I sin angers me because I am tired of the devil beating me up. But Ezekiel 39:24 is in a way built on an if/then statement. If we sin, then yes we are distanced from God and handed over to our enemies. But if we confess our sin, renounce it, repent and turn from it, then God is close and we walk under His protection. I have been focusing recently on myself and finding myself praying for a cleansing as I am made aware of items of sin still in my life. I do not want to give the devil any foothold.
Being a Christian is not only about leaving sin behind. It is also about being changed from self-focus to God-focus. I want to be God-focused. If you do too, then let's renounce all sin in our lives and live ON THE VANGUARD!