TEST ME

"'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'"
Malachi 3:10

I must admit, I am puzzeled. Something has come up that has me stumped as I question the giving of tithe and offering. Honestly I must admit I do not have it all figured out. I know that we are to give a tenth of all that we earn, and I am disappointed that the average giving of the church is so poor. But the offering is more so the part that has me asking questions. Perhaps as I explain where I am at in my current thought patterns you may be able to relate with me. So then, let me jump right in with where I am in my perplexed mindset.
I am not sure that you have ever noticed this, but Malachi 3:10 is the only place in the entire Bible where we are encouraged to test the Lord. It is here that God speaks through His prophet to the people then and also us now, challenging us to over-give Him. It reads as follows. "'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'" I struggle with two ideas in this challenge. How can I give of a right heart and how can I give free from worry?
As you may recall from earlier devotionals, I am a graduate of Oral Roberts University. By no means am I disappointed in my Alma Matter, and if given the choice I would go again. But as such, I grew up hearing the many teachings on seed faith by Oral himself, as well as a host of others in various positions within the school. It is in this teaching that we give unto God a seed and He will return unto us a harvest. Now this is right, both in practical life and in theology. If I plant a corn seed, I will reap a corn stalk. If I plant a financial seed into God's Kingdom, I will reap a spiritual harvest. However, this same idea can still be corrupt. My biggest challenge has been giving in obedience to God as opposed to just wanting something. For instance, let us say I want a new car. My warped and selfish mindset in seed faith giving has me trapped in thinking that if I give God a $100 offering, He will bless me with $1000, since He returns a hundred fold. I find myself thinking multiples in my head what my return will be a then give according to the math as opposed to in simple obedience. It is no wonder so much of my giving has been in vain. True, Malachi does say that God will throw open His floodgates and pour out a blessing, but my testing is not with a right attitude.
The other part I struggle with is worry. While I want to live off 10% and give the other 90% in tithes and offerings, I do not. That has been my prayer since 1999; that God will bless me so abundantly that I will not be able to contain it and will be able to give it away without it affecting the way I live. It's those first few steps that stop me, though. Sometimes I feel like I have buyer's remorse concerning giving. I hear God prompt me to give $20 as an offering, above my tithe, and as soon as I release it in the basket I feel have just done something wrong. I question if it was God's voice, question if I gave in relation to my math, and question how I am going to get by without that $20 incase an emergency comes up. Instead of trusting God will reward me for my obedience I worry that I will fall into debt.
Recently I was reading Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, and he began to mention this passage in Malachi 3. Then he made a comment that I found hard to swallow, yet encouraged to consider. "If you really want to experience God's supernatural provision, then do as He says. Test Him. Give more than you can manage, and see how He responds." The idea first brings panic and worry back to my mind. Can I truly live without that other $20? Truth be told, I will probably use it to eat out; that's probably my big emergency. But I want to begin to live past that. I want to put God to the test. He invites us to. So I leave you then to consider this thought and perhaps pray that same prayer that I am now praying.
"God, You say to test You and see if You will not open the floodgates of heaven with blessing. I must admit that not every offering I have given has been given of right heart. But I want it to be going forward. God I pray that You would help change my attitude in giving so that I would give of a pure and right heart. Help me give in obedience instead of giving to see what I can get back. And help me to give free from worry, knowing that You will take care of me as opposed to living in the fear and worry that prevents me from obeying Your leading. Amen."