GROWN UP CONTEMPLATION

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Romans 12:2

As I was driving into work a few days back I saw a bumper sticker that read, “Are you what you wanted to be when you grew up?” Seeing this caused me to think a minute and I was able to answer both yes and no. I do feel that as God had placed ministry in my heart at a young age, He has moved me into a fraction of what He has called me to. Therefore I can say, “Yes, I am what I wanted to be.” But then in another way, I know God has not fully released me yet into full time ministry, so to that I answer, “No, I am not what I wanted to be.” But as I continued my drive into work I was reminded of a song by Switchfoot, titled, “This is Your Life”. The song challenges one to contemplate life, asking if you are who you want to be. What you have before you is based on a series of events that have happened either by choice or force, but how you have handled those choices determines where you are now. So then, even in light of those choices, are you what you wanted to be when you grew up?
I spend quite a deal of time reading and listening to audio books, always giving myself the chance to be taught and stimulated in my thinking. I remember reading a book of John Bevere’s where he writes, “What we do not confront will not change.” In thinking on this bumper sticker and this quote together, I cannot help but wonder if there is a connection. How many times do we fail to become all that God has called us to be simply because we do not confront things that need to be changed? How often is our true calling held from us simply because we are purposefully making wrong decisions? I have no room to speak, because to some extent I feel my lack of being in full time ministry is based on God’s timing, but also based on decisions I made in being addicted to something that prevented me from being exactly where God wanted me. My inability to confront sin earlier prevented me from a change earlier. Now while God still can redeem the time, and is, I must do my part in constantly confronting sin and temptation, and all attacks of the enemy, with the Word of God.
This thought, then, brings me to Romans 12:2. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” It is in this verse that Paul warns us to stop conforming to the pattern of sin that this world offers, and urges us to stand up and confront it, just as John Bevere wrote of. We cannot be transformed into the full design that God has for us until we stop allowing ourselves to be conformed into an image that does not fully reflect God. So then, we cannot be what we wanted to be when we grew up if in the process we do not confront what needs to be changed.
For me, my confrontation moment came when I stood up against my addiction. It wasn’t until that moment that the line was drawn in the sand and I refused to cross over or let my addiction cross over it. I came to a point personally where I had had enough. I was tired of being knocked down, tired of seeing my God given dreams be fulfilled by someone else, and tired of giving any more space to the enemy. Not until that point of ceasing the conformation of evil and confronting what needed to be changed was I able to find a new life. As I continue to make my stand, God continues to transform me once again into the man He has called me to, and continues to put me where He wants me to be. Am I who I wanted to be when I grew up? By making this stance I move closer to that person, just as you too are able to move closer. Let us confront what needs to be changed.