ON THE VANGUARD

STRENGTH IN THE LONELY HOUR
“…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20b

I have learned a few things about myself over the past few years since the divorce. I could write out an exhaustive list and bore you in detail with all my lessons learned over the past three years, but instead I will share just one lesson with you today. One thing you should understand about me, however, is that even though I enjoy my time alone, I am not a fan of being alone. That sounds ironic I know, but in these moments where it is me by myself I find myself doing the same things. I will read, or journal, or watch TV, and go take a walk. It seems like I have been doing the same things day in and day out for the past three plus years. But here is the lesson, no matter how alone I feel, God continues to make it clear to me that He is right there next to me. At first I wasn’t allowing myself to understand it because so deeply I desire a physical person to connect with. Now, a few years later, and a few hard knocks taken, I am coming to realize that although a relationship with a person would be great, a deeper walk with God far surpasses anything else.
As I just shared, one of the things I find myself doing a great deal of these days is reading. Today’s devotional stems from thoughts of an article on courage I recently read by Charles Stanley. While I am not going to reiterate his message, I would like to share what God showed me. My eyes were drawn to the passage of Matthew 28:20 as I was reading. Many of us know this verse in relation to the Great Commission, where starting in verse 19 Jesus commands us to make disciples of all nations and baptize them as well as teach them the Lord’s commands. Then He says, “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” But for today I want to focus on just this last sentence recorded in Matthew.
Does it take courage to overcome the feelings of loneliness? Webster defines courage as a mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. Under that definition of courage, I would say yes, it does take courage to overcome the feelings of loneliness. So then I question of myself, how many times have I attempted to find someone to fill this lonely spot simply because I was weak as opposed to it being God’s will? Yet it takes me having to hit the wall, be turned down, or even flat out rejected for me to understand that what I really need is Him. Perhaps this is the reason why this final sentence in Matthew speaks to me so loud today. Could it be that God is re-iterating to me His stance in my pain? “I am with you always.”
In my lonely moments, my tougher hours, I know God is there, but I am beginning to know God is there. I am beginning to see that He is giving me the strength to preserver and withstand all that comes my way. I am beginning to realize that not only should God be my all, but that I want Him to be my all. And perhaps the greatest lesson God is showing me in these lonely hours is that I cannot become the husband I want to be until I first become the man I need to be. These are lessons that come in being alone, that come in waiting on Him, and that come when I realize that He really is with me always, to the very end of the age. As I continue to learn I know He will continue to be there.