ON THE VANGUARD

RAW
“Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.”
Psalm 13:3-4

Maybe I am the only one who gets annoyed by this, but when I am disciplining my children, I want eye contact with them. I want them to see the love I have for them in my eyes even if the words I say and the expression of my body language says, ‘You’re in big trouble now.’ When their eyes begin to bounce left and right and their head begins to droop, I find myself asking them the look at me. Sometimes it is said gently as I know from my own experiences growing up that not all discipline should be given in anger. But other times it is said in such frustration that it comes out so raw and demanding, “Look at me!” And there is nothing wrong with being raw, for we see it even in the Bible. There were times when God’s people felt as though God was not looking on them and they too raised their voice and demanded, “Look at me!”
In the Bible, both Daniel and David got raw. Let’s first look at Daniel in chapter 9. It is in verse 19 we read, “O LORD, listen! O LORD, forgive! O LORD, hear and act! For your sake, O my God, do not delay…” Who talks like this to God? Who demands of God to listen, act, and do it now? Who gets this blunt in telling God what to do? And yet, Daniel wasn’t reprimanded for his actions or words. He simply was so tired of what was going on that he poured out his heart and his emotions before God. Is this not what God honors? Does not God tell us to cast our cares on Him (I Pet 5:7)?
And look at David in Psalm 13:1-4. He starts out in God’s face demanding answers. “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and everyday have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.’” Again, who talks to God like that? Who gets in God’s face and says, “What? I’m not good enough for You to come and save? You’re too busy to answer my questions? You care about others more than You care about me?”
On an on David went in bombarding God with questions until finally, in verses 5 and 6, he settles down and says, “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has been good to me.”
I find that as a parent, my moments of rawness are settled down by reason. And I find that when I come before God in my angry tizzy, I am reminded that I am not God and it settles me down. It is after the raw bluntness comes out that I can listen and reflect, and remember that God is in control. Here I am asking Him to listen to and answer me, only to be reminded that it is I who needs to listen to Him. I will not be condemned for sharing my heart because He already knows what is now on my mind and heart, troubling me anyway. But if leave the moment yelling for His attention without giving Him mine in return, I will never know that peace that can truly be found in the situation. I encourage you to be raw with God, to tell Him what you think and how you feel. You won’t surprise Him with your emotions. However, just be sure to listen for His reply, for in it you will find the calming peace in your storm.