ON THE VANGUARD

WHERE OUR THOUGHTS LIVE
...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
II Corinthians 10:5b

I can't remember where I heard this, but it might have been in a song one time. The thought has always stayed with me, even though sometimes I wish it would leave me alone. What consumes your thoughts controls your life. Think about that with me for a minute if you will. What we give so much thought to is who we will become. For instance, my background is splattered with thoughts of pornography. There was a time when I meditated so much on the pictures and acts and fantasies that I could not look at a woman without thinking about acting on what filled my mind. To see a woman was to see a way that I could be satisfied. I lived consumed with greed, selfishness, and pride. I lived a lie and became a good actor, but God knew the truth.
In 2000, when my wife walked out on me for the constant mistreatment, lies, and addictive behaviors, I was forced to see and to re-evaluate my life. I had lost my job, my wife, and just weeks before walked through our first miscarriage. Life was ugly, and I hated myself. But why? Easy to answer. My thoughts were not God's thoughts. My actions were not God's actions. And my behavior did nothing to bring others to Christ. In all honesty, I wanted God to kill me because of the shame and hopelessness I felt.
When I tell people about this part of my life, I tell them I was looking at three main decisions. One was death, either by my doing or God's. A second was to go on without changing, just continuing to live the life I was, with or without my wife. And the third was to begin to call out to God for help like never before. I chose the third. I began to seek counseling and to get real help. I began to get honest with myself about myself. But the biggest change was that I began to give these thoughts to God. It didn't happen overnight, and I'd be wrong if I said that I didn't have my share of stumbles while getting help. But as I started the course of renewing my life with God and believing His thoughts about me, my thoughts about my actions began to change.
The Bible says we are to take captive our thoughts. Why? Because let's face it, whether you have been in my shoes and dealt with pornography, or self image, or fear and worry, or what have you, we get so wrapped up and consumed in it that we cannot see beyond this mirrored reflection of ourselves. It always stays in the 'me'. How will this affect me? Our consumption needs to be on God. What you think about the most will become your idol. That is why we are to take captive our thoughts. There should be no other god before our God.
I challenge you to question who is your god? Is it God, or something else? What or who consumes your thoughts? Who is your puppet master?


STUBBORN FISH
Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. Psalm 31:3-5

I admit, I am not the world's best fisherman. I have gone out fishing a few times with my 6 year old son this year, in hopes of showing him the ropes, but yet always come home empty handed. All this misfortune causes me to think, "What can I do to be a better fisherman?" In talking with other fishers, I see I have the right bait, I attempt when the fish should be hungry, and I even fish in areas where other fisherman next to me are reeling fish in with every cast. But for some reason, the fish won't eat my bait. Honestly, it is a little frustrating coming home empty handed, knowing I was out smarted and outlasted by stubborn fish.
But let's flip this idea around. Let us pretend for the moment that we are the fish, and the devil is the fisherman. I wonder if we are as stubborn as the fish that I spend hours trying to catch. Are we the kind of fish that fall so easily for the shiny hooks or tempting bait? Do we know our weaknesses? If a line is cast and we see the bait of money, power, sex, or what have you waving itself in front of us, will we be quick to bite the hook and suffer the fate, or will we be like Joseph and flee the trap?
We all know the story, how Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery and served in Potiphar's house. When no one was around, Potiphar's wife waved herself as bait in front of Joseph. What a great example of fleeing sin Joseph leaves for us. He had no concern for what he left behind; his only concern was to get away. Even though his life seemed to get worse before it got better, the truth is God rewarded his constant faithfulness. And when we turn our backs on sin, and run from the lures that dangle in front of us, God will reward us also.
I challenge you today to think about this truth. Are you willingly allowing yourself to toy with the thought of sin, to test the desire of playing with the bait, and of dancing with the enemy? Or are you one of those stubborn fish who see the hook and bait dangling in the water and yet instead of testing the limits, run the opposite direction? David prayed that God would free him from traps laid for his destruction. I pray that is also your prayer.