ON THE VANGUARD

MODEH ANI
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
Psalm 143:8

I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm clock cutting through my dream. In some ways I was relieved. The dream was already depressing and not showing any potential of getting better. I didn’t have any superhero powers, wasn’t inheriting riches, didn’t have a wife, and wasn’t driving a sports car. In fact, in the dream I was living at a campground and driving the 1991 Honda Accord I have now. The highlight of the dream was that I remembered to put my seatbelt on, but perhaps only because a police car was next to me in the parking lot. So again, it was nothing exciting.
When I awoke, rolled out of bed, and started the coffee pot, I began to reflect on the dream and questioned, is my life really that boring? I know that I am not the most spontaneous person, and that my interests are those that tend to make others yawn, but surly I have something to offer. In contemplating this thought I found myself coming to grips with the idea that even if the dream was depressing, and even if my life is boring, I am glad to awake and be given another day of life. It was then that I remembered the Hebrew blessing of Modeh Ani.
The words of this blessing are simple, and according to custom are to be the first words spoken upon opening one’s eyes in the morning. “I thank you, living and eternal King, for returning my soul within me in compassion, great is your faithfulness.” In reading Lamentations 3:22-23, we see this same concept. Lamentations reads that God’s grace is not exhausted and His compassion is not ended. In fact, they are new every morning! The prayer and scripture declare alike, “Great is Your faithfulness!” Likewise, Psalm 143:8 relates to this truth. “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” God’s unfailing love, His compassion, and His faithfulness have no end but are rather renewed every morning. That in and of itself gives me hope that although my dream may have made me feel stagnant, it is His feeling toward me that is love.
I think in some ways we fail to see it, or maybe it is just me. I know that I fail to praise Him for each new morning, just as I fail to praise Him at the end of each day. It is almost to a point where I expect it rather than cherish it. But why does it take a boring dream, or illness, or another’s death or bad circumstance for me to realize that I should thank God? Why does it take a negative situation for me to begin to seek Him or trust Him? Every morning I am enveloped with His compassion and love, yet fail to thank Him for it. Every morning I awake should be a moment where I praise Him for another day. I am honestly tired of taking God for granted, expecting like an ungrateful child that He do it. He doesn’t have to give me another day. He allows another day because of His love for me. This truth changes everything; this truth makes me want to say…
Modeh ani lifanekha melekh ḥai v'kayam sheheḥezarta bi nishmahti b'ḥemlah, rabah emunatekha.