RAW
“Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.”
Psalm 13:3-4

Maybe I am the only one who gets annoyed by this, but when I am disciplining my children, I want eye contact with them. I want them to see the love I have for them in my eyes even if the words I say and the expression of my body language says, ‘You’re in big trouble now.’ When their eyes begin to bounce left and right and their head begins to droop, I find myself asking them the look at me. Sometimes it is said gently as I know from my own experiences growing up that not all discipline should be given in anger. But other times it is said in such frustration that it comes out so raw and demanding, “Look at me!” And there is nothing wrong with being raw, for we see it even in the Bible. There were times when God’s people felt as though God was not looking on them and they too raised their voice and demanded, “Look at me!”
In the Bible, both Daniel and David got raw. Let’s first look at Daniel in chapter 9. It is in verse 19 we read, “O LORD, listen! O LORD, forgive! O LORD, hear and act! For your sake, O my God, do not delay…” Who talks like this to God? Who demands of God to listen, act, and do it now? Who gets this blunt in telling God what to do? And yet, Daniel wasn’t reprimanded for his actions or words. He simply was so tired of what was going on that he poured out his heart and his emotions before God. Is this not what God honors? Does not God tell us to cast our cares on Him (I Pet 5:7)?
And look at David in Psalm 13:1-4. He starts out in God’s face demanding answers. “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and everyday have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.’” Again, who talks to God like that? Who gets in God’s face and says, “What? I’m not good enough for You to come and save? You’re too busy to answer my questions? You care about others more than You care about me?”
On an on David went in bombarding God with questions until finally, in verses 5 and 6, he settles down and says, “But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has been good to me.”
I find that as a parent, my moments of rawness are settled down by reason. And I find that when I come before God in my angry tizzy, I am reminded that I am not God and it settles me down. It is after the raw bluntness comes out that I can listen and reflect, and remember that God is in control. Here I am asking Him to listen to and answer me, only to be reminded that it is I who needs to listen to Him. I will not be condemned for sharing my heart because He already knows what is now on my mind and heart, troubling me anyway. But if leave the moment yelling for His attention without giving Him mine in return, I will never know that peace that can truly be found in the situation. I encourage you to be raw with God, to tell Him what you think and how you feel. You won’t surprise Him with your emotions. However, just be sure to listen for His reply, for in it you will find the calming peace in your storm.

PRUNING
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
John 15:1-2

Back in 2001, I lived in a mobile home outside of Nashville. The home was seated on three acres of land. One morning in the spring as I was walking the land I found a pile of 2” x 4”s and scrap sheets of plywood, and suddenly had the urge to build a fence for a garden. Within a few days I had completed the fence, tilled the ground, and planted my seeds. Little did know that that 8’ x 10’ garden would launch me into the pleasure of gardening even still today. I’m not sure how to explain it really, but there is just something about watching what you plant take birth and produce a crop. However, gardening is also a chore. In the garden I found weeds and bugs that had to be removed, but I also found that I had to prune my crops as well. In the early days this was not a chore I kept up with as it was time consuming. I was more interested in the end result than the process. Thankfully I learned since then, and read a few gardening books since then, and now know more of what it takes to have a better harvest. The biggest factor is not the weeds, bugs, or even making sure there is enough water, but rather the pruning. By removing the dying stems and leaves that tend to suck out life I allow for a better growth of my crop. Since doing this chore, I have found a greater return in my harvest.
As people, we too need pruning. It is easy to go through life unaware or unconcerned about the things that suck life from us. Just as this is true, it is also true that rarely will a person be as strong as a cedar, with a heritage of strength, integrity, and beauty on their own. Sadly, most us our either victim to an addiction, depression, divorce, or some other ‘sucker’ that destroys any good fruit that could be produced. Because of this exact reason, Jesus points out that He is the true vine and His Father, God, is the gardener. Any branch or stem in connection with Him will produce fruit. But the branch that tries to grow apart from Him, or in addition to Him, is a sucker. Sucker branches are removed by God the gardener because they steal life from the true vine. Jesus shares in John 15:2, that God, “…cuts off every branch in [Him] that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes…” So then, removal will come to those who are not fastened to Him. And, pruning will come to those who are in Him but may have suckers attached.
I find myself constantly having to be pruned. Oh boy, sometimes it hurts to be stripped of the sucker that has grown like an appendage to me. The tumor that grows in the Spirit on me sucks my life and drains me of my energy and will to move on. But this is the exact reason why I must connect with the vine. In this connection I have life, and I have the care of the gardener. Apart from the vine, I am just a branch with no fruit and the option to be removed from the garden altogether. As long as I am connected to the vine, the gardener will continue to work on me to remove the suckers, the appendages, and the tumors so that I can produce fruit. I then connect myself to the vine, and offer myself to the care of the gardener, because it is my ultimate desire that I bring forth fruit. Is this also your desire? If so, then let us no longer be consumed by what we have been a victim of, but instead connect with the vine. The pruning will follow naturally. Don’t fight it. Embrace the pruning and you will see fruit coming forth.

JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL
“You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.”
Psalm 4:7

At the age of thirty-five, John Wesley was converted to Christianity. He would later explain it as a warming of his heart, not his mind, toward Christ, and in that warming he found himself becoming a lover of God. It was shortly after his conversion that he wrote the hymn “Jesus, Lover of My Soul.” The first verse of this hymn reads: “Jesus, Lover of my soul/Let me to thy bosom fly.” Sadly, a more acceptable translation of the song is known today, replacing ‘Lover’ with ‘Savior,’ or ‘Refuge.’ But why? According to John Julian, a Methodist pastor and hymnologist, “The difficulty is the term Lover as applied to our Lord.” Yet while the words Savior and refuge rightly explain Him, they do not carry the same meaning that Wesley originally penned. So then the question becomes a personal one. How comfortable are you with referring to the Lord as your Lover?
David had no problem expressing his passion for the LORD. In fact, as the ark was brought into Jerusalem, David danced with all his might before his Lover. His display of affection was so filled with emotion that his wife was embarrassed and stated, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would! (II Sam 6:20)” If that was embarrassing, David advised her it was nothing compared to the undignified response he could continue to give the LORD. His dance had nothing to do with drawing attention to himself but rather it was his expression of zeal for his Lover.
And this was just one example. A quick glance through the Psalms also shows David had no issues with knowing the LORD as his Lover. Psalm 4:7 shows David filled with a great joy from his Lover. The LORD gives forth a river of delight to David in Psalm 36:8. And in Psalm 42:1, David so craves for his Lover that as the deer pants for water so he pants for God. He is smitten by God and finds the love of his Lover better than life itself in Psalm 63:3. Shall we go on and look through the Psalms? David, the man after God’s own heart, wrote these Psalms as a full grown man, not as a teenager caught in infatuation, or as one consumed with lust. He had fought against Goliath and become the warrior that was chanted about, killing his tens-of-thousands. And yet, no record of his love towards his wives matches the detail of the passion he had for his Lover.
Oh Jesus, I want you to be the Lover of my soul. I have been married and divorced, and have found myself desiring marriage again. But now I find myself even more so desiring You as my Lover. I want to forsake the infatuation and lust and find true Love. Let the expressions of David, and the words penned by John Wesley become more than words to me. Let them be the springboard from which I write to You, my Lover, my expression of affection.

PURIM
“But when the plot came to the king’s attention, he issued written orders that the evil schemer Haman had devised against the Jews should come back onto his own head, and that he and his sons should be hanged on the gallows. (Therefore these days were called Purim, for the word pur.)”
Esther 9:25-26a

As we have been looking at for the past few days, today is Purim. Purim marks the deliverance of the Jews as a result of the events taken by Queen Esther when she exposed the evil plan of Haman against the Jewish people. This annual celebration is set as a reminder of how God worked behind the scenes to bring about the salvation for His chosen people. With Mordecai uncovering the wickedness of Haman to Esther, followed by his pep talk to the queen that even she may not be spared from an ill fate, God’s silent plan of why Esther was chosen began to make sense. However, in order for us to understand the celebration of life, let us step back a few days prior to this event.
With the pur cast, the days ahead looked dark. Queen Esther, Mordechai, and Jews throughout the land had taken to prayer and fasting, believing that God would raise His hand in opposition to the fate that lay ahead. And then, the day of risk came. With the knowledge setting in that she too may not be exempt from death, Esther approached the king, an action that in itself could have brought about her death. Yet still she came. And what is more, she found the mercy of the king as he held out his gold scepter to her (Est 5:2). At the king’s request, she spoke that her desire was to have the king and Haman join her for a feast. When night fell, she was joined by these men and asked again what she desired. Her request once more, was that they again join her the next evening for another meal. Esther’s request was once again accepted.
It was on the second night that the true reason for Esther’s request was made known as she pleaded to the king, in the presence of Haman, that her people be spared. Queen Esther spoke, “If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life – this is my petition. And spare my people – this is my request. For I and my people have been sold for destruction and slaughter and annihilation (Est 7:3-4).” Outraged, the king demanded to know who had made a threat on Esther’s life. Then, pointing in the direction where Haman sat, Esther replied, “The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman.” Furious, the king left while Haman, knowing his fate, begged now for his life and fell at the seat where Esther sat. This fall happened just as the king was returning, and sealed the fate of Haman the Agagite. The curse of death that Haman had planned for the Jews now became the same curse that would end his life.
So then, with the death of Haman came the adaptation of the ruling the king had already approved. Where once the decree had gone out stating that Jews would die, now the degree was amended to state that the Jews could fight back against any army that opposed them (Est 9:1-5). And this ordinance, also sealed with the king’s signet ring, is the basis of what we celebrate during Purim. The words of Mordechai, the risk of Esther, and the secret hand of God brought about life for the Jews, and in this we celebrate. Again, when it looks as though all hope is gone, it serves us to know that God is still at work. God’s faithfulness and protection will always be there even when we cannot see His physical hand.

ROLL THE DICE
“In the twelfth year of King Xerxes, in the first month, the month of Nisan, they cast the pur (that is, the lot) in the presence of Haman to select a day and month. And the lot fell on the twelfth month, the month of Adar.”
Esther 3:7

The main parts of the story of Esther that people are familiar with normally include Esther’s beauty which led to her becoming queen, her going before her husband the king without his calling for her, and the events in the end where the Jews were saved and Haman was hung. I will admit, for the most part that was the extent of what I knew. But as I was looking forward to celebrating the holiday of Purim with my children, I found myself brushing up on the story. It was in this brushing up that a portion I had read over many times jumped off the page. It was in my brushing up that I saw the words, “They cast the pur in the presence of Haman to select a day and month.”
I plan to share more on the story of Esther tomorrow, but quickly I want to set a stage for you concerning this piece of the puzzle. Haman was an Agagite and descended from the Amalekites. It was these people that Moses spoke of when he declared, “The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation (Ex 17:15-16).” The Amalekites from that point on became the antithesis of the Jewish people. As the Jewish people lived lives of holiness in order to honor God, so the people of Amalek lived lives of sin and did not honor God. This same opposite continued throughout history and became a characteristic owned by Haman toward the Jews.
So then, this enemy of the Jewish people cast the pur, otherwise known as a lot. This rolling of the dice was used to determine the date that Haman should move forward to carry out his plan to execute the Jews. Hitler, who also opposed the Jews, used this same method of casting lots in an early version of his ‘Final Solution’. In Hebrew, every name has a numeric value, and when added up, the pur cast by Haman equaled the value for King Agag, his ancestor. With confidence to now move forward, Haman went before the king requesting the extermination of the Jews. Once his request was granted, “…dispatches were sent by couriers to all the king’s provinces with the orders to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews – young and old, women and little children – on a single day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar, and to plunder their goods (Est 3:13).”
Yet, our story does not there. The top view of the lots added up to King Agag, but the bottom view of the lots added up to the value of King David, from whose line the Messiah came. You see, things are not always as they seem. Sometimes what we see on the surface looks bleak. But underneath, where so many times we fail to look, God is at work and preparing an answer opposite of what we see right away. As we will learn tomorrow, the enemy was overcome, ultimately destroyed by his own noose. Victory came for the Jews, and it will come for you. Maybe the pur that has been cast over your life shows a bleak and disastrous outcome on the surface. Do not fear, my friend. Although the top may show King Agag, and the enemy has confidently begun his march on you, know that the bottom shows King David, your salvation from the enemy’s hand.

TAANIT ESTHER
"Esther had them return this answer to Mordekhai: 'Go, assemble all the Jews to be found in Shushan, and have them fast for me, neither eating nor drinking for three days, night and day; also I and the girls attending me will fast the same way. Then I will go in to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish.'"
Esther 4:15-16 CJB

Today marks the beginning of one of God's special appointed times; a time of miracles in your life and of destruction against the enemy's plans. This is a season when the plot that the adversary has made against you will suddenly be turned around by God, and a time to usher in favor, blessing, and sudden freedom. The miracle that you need, that even now you are seeking God for, can in an instant be given. For Esther, it was. And as God has no favorites, the miracle He brought for her and the Jewish people, He can bring for you also. The time I am speaking of is Purim. Growing up I knew the basic story of Esther. In reading the detail of her beauty I found myself enchanted with her. But as I have grown more in the faith and researched more about who she was, I have found myself even more so both attracted to her and inspired by her risk. However, before we dive fully into the account of Esther and Purim, let us focus our attention today on fasting.
Although Purim is noted officially on the calendar this year as March 20, the Jewish calendar marks today as the day of fasting in remembrance of Esther. When a Jewish holiday that includes fasting lands on a Sunday, the fast is then moved to the Thursday prior. As that is the case this year, today then starts the fast of Esther, also known as Tannit Esther.
Fasting is a word that many struggle with. I will admit that I have feared it in the past. I am one who enjoys food, whether it be cooking or baking my own, eating out at a restaurant, or just rummaging through the cupboards for a snack. The idea of giving up the chance to eat when there are so many good foods to eat just doesn't sit right. Yet, it is a spiritual discipline. How can not eating be a spiritual discipline. I mean, taking away my food is punishment enough, but how does it glorify God? Perhaps the answer that I come to learn is based on a couple verses. First, we are told in the Ten Commandments to put nothing before God (Ex 20:3). For me, food can very easily become a god and I can easily spend more time in the kitchen than in God's presence. Secondly, if Jesus is the Bread of Life (Jn 6:35), then the real question becomes am I eating my fill of Him. I know I am eating my fill of physical food because the scale tells me so. But am I eating my fill of what really matters? Of what I should be eating freely?
A time of fasting is a time of putting aside the things that have stolen our devotion from God so that purposefully we can seek God. It is easy for us to get wrapped up in other things that we put God on the back burner and forget about Him. Fasting helps us to not, for in the moments when we would be eating, we can then take that time and apply it to time with God. It is in these moments, these minutes or hours that we would be preparing food, eating food, and then cleaning up the dishes, that these duties cease to exists and give us the freedom to be with God.
We see this devotion in this scripture. Esther was approached by a messenger sent by her uncle requesting that she go before the king and beg him to change his decree against the Jews. Her response was that she would indeed go un-beckoned before the king and risk death for this action. But, she did not go unprepared. She called a fast of all the Jews. For three days and nights, all together, they swapped food and drink for prayers of salvation. The odds were stacked against them; death to all Jews was days away. Yet, the Jewish people made a point to petition God instead of cure their cravings. Life was more important than a sandwich, chips, and a diet coke. And life, life in Christ, should be more important to us as well.
What has been stealing life from you? For Esther and the Jews it was a decree of death that Haman had every intention of carrying out. Believe it or not, there is a Haman out for you, and he already has the approval to take you out. John 10:10 tells us that the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But Christ has come to give you life. I encourage you, take a moment, take a meal, take all day or even three, to put aside your physical appetite and feed your soul. And then watch as salvation comes, as favor comes, as blessings come suddenly to you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
“…Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’
Luke 15:6

Six years ago today, at the exact hour I am writing this, I found myself at the hospital. I remember being there with my wife as we were hours away from seeing our new baby. We had chosen not to know the gender, so in addition to the excitement of the birth of another child, we were also anticipating the knowledge of its gender. As the contractions began to increase and the head began to crown, the realization all sank in again. I had been here before and had managed to keep my weak stomach under control and my wobbly legs from giving in. However, I had to fight those same aliments once again and be strong. In what seemed like only a few strong pushes allowed the escape for our baby to enter the world. With the doctor turning the newborn over, I looked and announced, “It’s a girl!”
It has been six years today since she was born, and while at times she has tested my patience, she has never lost my love. I don’t think she ever can, nor can my son. They are mine; my offspring, my joy, my mini-mes. And they will always be mine. For both my children I would gladly lay down my life because of the love I have for them. And why would I not? I read in the Bible that God loved His children so much, His creation, us, that He allowed His Son to die for us. I am looking at the greatest love story ever when I read the Bible and see this kind of love. In fact, it is this same love expressed in the story of the lost sheep that maybe hits closer to home.
The shepherd had a hundred sheep. However, sheep are not the smartest animals. One day, as they were out grazing, one of those sheep strayed away. At night, when the shepherds were returning with their sheep back to home, the shepherd came up one short in his count. Where once there were a hundred, now he counted only ninety-nine. But instead of leaving that out there, or just brushing it off, he went out to search for it. He didn’t care how long the search would last he just knew that sheep needed help. After looking back on the grassy plain and combing the area nearby, he heard a cry. Following the cry he found the sheep. That sheep that had gone off on its own was now found, and being carried on the shepherd’s shoulders back to meet the others.
We are that sheep. Some of us have been found, but some of us have not. To those that are still lost, know that the shepherd has not stopped the search. He loves you dearly. Just call out for help like this sheep, and God will rescue you from the thicket of your life and carry you home. That is what I witnessed last night at a concert…a mass rescue of lost sheep. And as I sat in my chair listening to the sounds of people praying the prayer of salvation, one specific voice caught my attention. Without any prompting from me at all, I heard the sweet sound of my daughter praying with others to receive Christ. Another sheep had been rescued. On the eve of my daughter’s physical birth date she was born into the family of God. That is the best birthday present she could have ever received. It can be yours also. Today can be your birthday also. If you have never done so, or if you have but are lost again, I encourage you to cry out to the shepherd who loves you and so desires to save you. Let this be your happy birthday and allow the Shepherd into your heart.


To the right of this blog you will find the salvation prayer. I am not trying to force you, but am encouraging you to please allow Christ into your heart, to be that Shepherd who searches for you, that Father who would lay down his life for you, and that Friend who will never betray you. Come, let us celebrate your birthday also.