ON THE VANGUARD

THE LOVE TRIANGLE
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
I John 4:8

There were two subjects in school that I would venture to say I excelled in. Those two were history and math. As I have shared in my devotionals before, history has always been a passion of mine, and the core of it coming from the Middle Ages and the time in and around World War II. What has passed is the past. It cannot be changed, but it can be learned from. In regards to math, and in some ways life overall, I have always found that if it can remain constant it is easier to understand. For example, 1+1 will always equal 2. This truth cannot be changed or proven different. So in the aspects of math, God has been showing me a very vital truth over the past month that I feel I now need to share with you. With pencils ready, I now invite you into my classroom as we learn the math of the love triangle.
Do you remember from your school days what an equilateral triangle is? You probably do not recall the term, but I know you will remember this better. An equilateral triangle is one where the sides are all the same length therefore each angle is set at 60 degrees. Every side, every angle, every degree is all the same. There is no side longer, as it would throw off the balance of the triangle by causing the degrees to change. There is no degree different as it would affect the length of the sides. Everything remains even. So then, may I suggest that this is what Paul in essence is referring to in Ephesians 5 when he speaks about marriage? The wife is supposed to submit to the husband who in turn is to be submitted to God.
But allow me to go one step further. In my nine years of marriage and almost four years of divorce, I have thought about this idea. What I have come to realize is that I have no power to change anyone. When I was married I was in a position of suggesting change, but at no point could I force my spouse to change. The same was true with her. All the changes I made were not a result of her sticking a gun to my head, but of me giving in, either to keep peace or because they were valid. Ultimately, however, I could only work on myself.
Since being divorced I have worked on myself. And here is what I have come to realize in the realms of another spouse. Looking at the triangle above, let us imagine God as the angle on the top. Let us picture that we are the angle to the left on the bottom. If God is love, as I John 4:9 shares, then my number one focus should be getting my angle and side right with God. Remember, if my angle is off, or my side is not the right size, the whole triangle will be off balance. Just as much, if I point to the right bottom angle and say that it is my spouse or future spouse, then I can only hope that she too is balanced and equal with God. She needs to be at the right angle and be of the right length. If either my angle or her angle is not the 60 degrees needed to complete the triangle, then what do we have? Not an equilateral triangle.
But here is the end point. When my angle and side’s size are right with God, and her angle and side’s size are right with God, then there is no doubt that the angle and side shared between my spouse and I are also the right degree and size. Basically, my goal should not be to change her, but to keep myself in right unity with God. As I grow in His love, I then have love to share with my spouse. And it is not just my spouse, for a triangle is built for every relationship. I have a triangle with my children, with my parents and siblings, with my co-workers, and with strangers. It all comes down to my love with God and His love with me, though. God is love and I want to know Him.