ON THE VANGUARD

INTIMATE MOMENTS
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
I Corinthians 7:3

Isn’t funny that the holidays seem to be rushed these days? Just a few weeks back we were celebrating Christmas still, and now Valentine’s is already invading the stores. As I was strolling through the grocery store and Wal-mart yesterday I felt the pressure to buy chocolate and stuffed animals…and I’m single still. But the thought of a relationship caused my mind to think on the words of Paul when he spoke concerning marriage to the Corinthians in his first letter.
In I Corinthians 7, Paul takes the time to write to each person in the relational place they are in. He speaks to the married, to the single, to the widowed, and to the young. And although he speaks about a martial duty in verse 3, we can all benefit from these words. Now please understand that the ‘duty’ that Paul is referring to is not just the act of sexual intimacy, but rather the repayment of love overall. In the King James Version it reads ‘due benevolence’. Benevolence is love expressed through goodwill and kindness. Therefore, we are called, not just in marriage but also in life, to perform our act of due benevolence to our spouse and to others.
Now keeping in the theme of marriage, however, I want to look again at Ephesians 5:25. It is here that Paul shares in a separate letter that Christ loved the church, and husbands are supposed to follow this example of love in our own physical marriage to our spouse. With Christ as our role model then, let us consider His ways of intimacy with us. I once heard intimacy defined as – into me, see. Christ allowed us to see into Him; to see His heart. It was His love for us that drove Him to the cross and kept Him there, suffering a brutal death in exchange for our life. It was His love that healed the broken, and drew the hurting to Him. It was His words of love that lured us in and helped us to see the void we held and needed filled.
In marriage, we invite our spouse in, to see all of us. It is with our spouse that we become vulnerable. Our spouse is the only one who is to receive our sexually intimate moments; the only one who should be given the invitation to see inside of me. Others may see a phase of me, but the deep intimate moments are saved for my spouse. Trust is broken in marriage when those intimate moments are shared with someone else.
Christ longs to see us sharing benevolence with others, but He also longs for these intimate moments with us. He longs to let us see into Him and for us to let Him see into us. So then, the question is, are we? With Christ as our husband, and we as His bride, do we give our all in this marriage? Have we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and transparent before our spouse as He is vulnerable and transparent before us? As one who has been married, I can say that to my former spouse I was not. I lived a secret life, and the trust was broken. I am tired of living this way before God as well; of seeing His all and giving Him only a portion in return. Today I make the choice that I will be intimate with Christ. I will put aside the walls and barriers and fears and expose myself fully to Him as He has to me.