ON THE VANGUARD

MOVING
"Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' - but I will not be mastered by anything."
I Corinthians 6:12

I had a conversation this week with a family friend and was questioned as to why I am not dating currently. Not knowing really at the time how to explain my reasoning, I simply stated, "I just haven't met anyone". I posted on my Facebook status a piece of my conversation and was amazed at how many other people agreed that I should be out looking and dating again. But it isn't that I do not want to. Rather, the reason is I do not feel released to. Let me explain further.
Take into consideration the actions of Abraham. In Genesis 15:5, God told Abraham that his offspring would be as numerous as the stars in the sky. However, as time went on and things weren't working out the way Abraham expected, nor in the time Abraham wanted, he took matters into his own hands and produced a child with Haggar (Gen 16:15). It was not the child God had originally spoken of. As such, Hagger and her son, Ishmael, were both the avenue of much pain within the camp. Finally Abraham had to let them go (Gen 21:14).
I know for me that in my first marriage I produced my own Haggar. God told me He had someone. But when I got tired of waiting and grew scared she may not come, I took matters into my own hands. Only after it all began to show real problems did I realize I had stepped out of faith in God. God had sent people to me to warn me, but in my stubbornness and fear I did not listen. Now, years later, I find myself single once more and with a chance to try again. God's promise of a loving wife is still true, but it is up to me to not do God's job for Him again. How many more Haggar's and Ishmael's must I endure to see this? Hopefully no more.
Perhaps we are not so different. We are all wanting to find what God has promised us, be it love, career, family, anything. I know God will provide in time. Maybe the question to be asked comes down to God's timing. I know how it feels to hope for and want something more, but I know this is still not God's timing. I may have been more quick to do so a year ago, but I am not sure I would have been doing it in the right time and with the right motives.
If you think about it, Moses and the Israelites didn't move unless they saw the cloud or fire. If it parked, they parked. It was in their obedience to God that moves were made and safety of victory was given with each change in location. If I had jumped ahead of God, in any situation, before the cloud or fire, I am not sure I would have been as safe or in God's will as much as I hoped. I am reminded of I Corinthians 6:12. "Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' - but I will not be mastered by anything." I want the steps that I am taking to be the steps that are not just permissible, but beneficial.
The Israelites were permitted to move without the fire and cloud moving, but it would not have been beneficial as God's blessing would not have been there. And we see that even on some of the actions of Moses himself. When he got fed up with the circumstance and took matters into his own hand, he struck the rock and water came out. However, that was not the true blessing God wanted to give at that moment. Because Moses moved out ahead of God in his own ways, just like we can in our own frustrations and loneliness, Moses did not enter the Promised Land.
I know for myself, the cloud and fire have not yet moved. As such, I stay camped at this location. In so doing, I have found the 'me' that I lost; that I was forced to change. Someday the cloud and fire will move again and I will be pointed in the direction of the relationship I have longed for - my own Promised Land. But it is not today. God is at work. The hope we have is that Abraham did become the father of many, and the Israelites did make it into the Promised Land. So we also have hope when we fully trust God will do what He says He will do.